THE RULES OF ATTRACTION
Marriage has some thorns, but celibacy has no roses.
VERNON K. MCLELLAN, Wise Words and Quotes
In a strange coincidence, both young Solly Simba and I were set straight as to the degree our current dalliances wanted to pursue our respective relationships. My current schmooze informed me that he didn’t fancy fidelity. We were sitting in my bedroom.
“Maurice, I hope you don’t expect me to be faithful to you,” he stated, his leopard-green eyes glittery with the challenge tossed my way.
You would have been proud of me, dear friends and readers. I didn’t miss a beat – not even my heart. I took a sip of my cognac before I spoke, smacking my lips daintily in an effort to show him the pricey liquor took precedence over his annoying query.
“I am far too established in my ways to feel the need of an overbearing passion at this point in my life, Gabriel. I prefer boundaries and limited expression,” I commented, hoping I seemed as blasé as I wished to.
He wasn’t expecting this and was taken aback, looking rather startled.
“Now, Maurice, don’t take it the wrong way,” he protested.
“I don’t believe that I did. I have an early call at the office. I will phone you or you can do the same if we feel the need of another – shall we say, uh, ‘romp’.”
“Are you angry, Maury?”
“Not at all, dear chap.”
I saw him to the door, went to the cupboard and poured another cognac. I was extremely proud of myself.
Solly Simba, having brought his current gal pal, Evangeline Cougar, to his suite of rooms in his parent’s presidential home, had just risen from his bed, leaving Evangeline there in a state of post coital afterglow.
“You won’t get serious, will you Solly?” she asked the young lion.
“It depends on the topic, Ang. Explain to me what you meant,” he said, amusement unchecked his eyes.
“Well, I have my career as a medical doctor…..and I just don’t want to get too heavily involved at the moment.”
“I have mine as an attorney and don’t want my life bogged down either. So you are very safe, Ang.”
Evangeline had misjudged her subject, expecting Solly to be more enamored after their sixth superb sexual experience. Solomon Simba, clone of his father Shane, took sex for granted. It didn’t leave him emotionally rattled in the least.
“Now, I don’t mean forever, Solly,” said Evangeline Cougar, attempting to backtrack ever so slightly. “Just until I get my feet wet at the clinic and then we can….”
“I don’t do forever, Evangeline,” he said cutting her off. “I’m too damn young. Let’s go. I have to be up early tomorrow. I’m going with my dad to Nairobi to hear him speak to the parliament there,” he said, pulling the beautiful cougar babe from his sack. “I’ll drive you home.”
“Solly, can we talk about this?”
Betty soothes her hubby's wounded ego...
In another part of the executive mansion, Shane Simba was seeking solace from his wife, Betty Chimpo Simba. He had been turned down flat by the First Church of the Ascending Predator in regard to his request to make Aslan, the sacred lion of C.S. Lewis fame, the presiding deity of that house of worship.
“That church and its committee have real cheek to turn my request down, Betty,” he snarled.
“Shane, just because you are the President of Kenya, doesn’t mean you can rearrange others’ religious beliefs. Be reasonable, darling. Why can’t you just envision Aslan when you sit in the sanctuary during services?” soothed Betty. “Let the others do the same with whatever their sacred image may be.”
He sat heavily on the bed and lit two cigarettes, handing one to her. He exhaled.
“I just want everyone to believe in Aslan, Fifi, is that so bad?”
“Yes, it is, Shane. It’s like forcing everyone to believe in abstinence or non-smoking just because you do.”
“I don’t believe in those things, Betty,” he argued.
“I know you don’t darling, but what if someone in a position of power tried to enforce those two things. You would be adamantly against them.”
“You are a very smart female, Betty Chimpo Simba,” he laughed, caressing her face.
“I know I am, darling. That’s exactly why you married me – twice,” she giggled.
“No, it’s not,” he said rolling on top of her and switching off the bedroom lamp. “This is why I marry you all the time.”
Dickey Simba gave a great yawn. His three month old son, a lion cub that had been implanted in his human wife’s womb, jumped on the sofa next to him.
“Let’s play, Dad,” implored Charley Simba, named after his human grandfather in Kansas.
“No, son, I have work to do,” was Dickey’s answer.
Cutty Sark Simba was edgy. Having a reluctant husband was bad enough but Dickey’s idea of fatherhood was very limited. It amounted to stating proudly that he had a son and little else. To make matters worse, Dickey had returned to his habitual bong smoking which irritated his wife no end.
“Take that child for a walk, Dickey. Or we can go for ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s,” demanded Cutty.
“We’ll do the ice cream run, Cutty,” growled Dickey, who did have a sweet tooth after his last tokes. “But then get the hell off my back, Cutty.”
“Sometimes I just hate you, Dickey,” she cried.
“You knew you got me on the rebound,” he answered, putting a new tee-shirt on Charley.
“Yes….so nice – on the rebound from your half-brother’s wife.”
Cutty with Dickey in happier days during her pregnancy..
Imani Janice Lyon was stirring her drink with a swizzle stick in a bored manner. She was in the Watering Hole Pub alone. Her married cousins had turned down her invitation to join her for drinks. Sean Simba and his wife, fellow cousin, Georgy Simba, now had two cubs and spent their free time at home. Imani looked around scanning the interior for hot males. She had endured a long afternoon of modeling on the catwalk at her mother’s fashion emporium JAGGERS. A sight for sore eyes entered the room. Imani’s eyes narrowed. He looked exactly like her great-uncle, Shane Simba. He strode toward the bar and bellied up.
“You look like Uncle Shane,” purred Imani, who could do that thanks to her jaguar blood.
“That’s probably because I’m his son.”
He turned his strange green eyed gaze on her. Imani felt her innards do a meltdown. It made her squeamish and giddy at the same time.
“I’m Imani Lyon, your cousin.”
“I know who you are. I’m a fan of your naked magazine layouts,” he laughed.
“Oh you are?” she preened.
“Yeah, why not? A lot of skin. What’s not to like?”
“Where have you been?” she giggled.
“At the university in England getting my law degree.”
“You are soooo hot looking,” she gushed in a most uncharacteristic manner.
“You look pretty damn good yourself. Want to get some dinner?”
“Let’s get out of here.”
They just missed Evangeline Cougar who had come hoping to soothe things over with Solly Simba. He and Imani were speeding toward Klip ‘n Dodi’s restaurant.
“Why the long face?” asked a
voice behind the pretty cougar doctor.
It was Ashley Lyon, looking pretty gorgeous himself.
“I was hoping to find Solly Simba here.”
“Solly is a clone of his dad, Shane Simba. Maybe not being from these parts, you missed all of Shane’s antics. He has finally settled down with my ex-wife, Betty Chimpo,” explained Ashley. “But Shane was the worst cocksman that ever drew the breath of life.”
“Solly seems sort of steady,” argued Evangeline.
“A clone by any other name is still a clone,” said Ashley.
“You are not one, I gather.”
“No, I am the normally begotten son of a lion and lioness. My littermate, Melanie, is long wed to one of your Tigeres clan who own the clinic. Nothing exotic about my birth,” he laughed. “But I do have a cloned son, Arlon. He is a very steady sort.”
“Are you trying to tell me something, Ashley?” she giggled.
“Uh huh. Take a chance on me, Ang.”
“Where shall I start?”
“We’ll go to my house. Imani is gone for the evening, thank all the gods.”
“Okay, you lead the way.”
Evangeline Cougar with Ashley Lyon at the pub....
Meanwhile, Solly and Imani were canoodling at a far table in Klip ‘n Dodi’s under the watchful eye of half-owner, Dodi Dik Dik Lyon. Dodi is a connoisseur of male lion flesh. She turned to her partner, Kerri Klipspringer.
“Kerri is my age showing?”
“Just in your eyes,” answered her partner.
“What do mean ‘just in my eyes’?” bristled the narcissistic little dik dik.
“Just a little rheumy but your pelt still shines,” answered Kerri who was buffing her tiny hooves. “And if you have eyes for the dude in the corner just remember he is Shane Simba’s son. You do remember how much Shane Simba detests you, don’t you, Dodi?”
“Oh shut up, Kerri.”
Solly dines with Imani under the watchful eyes of Dodi....
Dodi Dik Dik Lyon....