Maurice & Friends

President Ralph Lyon of Kenya......

The room was startled into a deep and rather profound silence. It was an area in the State House that was for meetings of importance. President Ralph Lyon had just announced his intention to retire.

“I want to work with my dear friends, Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela on the critical problems of AIDS in Africa. I also want to address the issues of hunting animals. Mildred and I both want to join in this effort,” he told us.

“But, Sir, Kenya needs you.” This statement came from a shocked Shane Simba who is the vice president.

“I will maintain an office here as will Mildred. Shane, I have been granted a lifetime presidency with the option to choose my own successor. I would name you.”

“Sir, if this is to be I would prefer to be duly elected. This way I will know that the Kenyan’s want me in this position.”

“You know of course that humans will run against you?”

“Yes, Sir, that’s the chance I will have to take.”

“If you win the election, Mildred and I will vacate the State House mansion for your use.”

“Oh, Sir, I wouldn’t want you to do that. That’s your home.”

“Mildred and I have already discussed this. I want to live among my pride again. My son, Lewis is going to build us a house in the compound.”

‘Maurice, if I should win the election, will you fill the same role for me as you have for the President?” asked a rather distressed Shane.

“Of course I will, Shane,” I answered, my voice still shaking from Ralph’s announcement.

When Shane arrived at his home, he went straight to the library and poured a stiff drink. Betty heard his footsteps and came to greet him.

“Darling, you look as if you’d seen a ghost, are you all right?” she asked giving him a kiss.

“Ralph is retiring, Betty. Are you ready to be first lady of Kenya? I have chosen to campaign. I want to be duly elected. It will take stumping throughout the country with you at my side.”

“Are you ready, is the real question, my love. I am always ready for anything that you want to do.”

“I didn’t want it this soon, but he wants retirement so he can work with Clinton, Mandela and Mildred on the AIDS problem. Another bummer is that we will have to move from this beautiful house you built and live in the State Mansion. Lewis Lyon is going to build a house for them in the Lyon Pride Compound.”

“We can rent this one, Shane, until you retire. That’s a beautiful house on the State House grounds. We can make it very nice for Staci and Sean and, of course, Jason and Josh when they visit. We’ll be fine, darling. The presidency is your destiny.”

“What would I ever do without you, Fifi?”

Ralph announced during a televised speech his intention to retire. The country went into bereavement at the thought of losing their beloved Papa and Mama Simba (the Swahili word for lion). Ralph had to assure them in a follow up speech that he would keep the title President Emeritus, occupy an office in the State House and be in an advisory capacity in addition to working with Mandela and Clinton on the AIDS crisis. Two human members of parliament threw their hats in the ring. Charley Lyon, Ralph and Mildred’s youngest son tossed his as well. Shane discussed with Ashley Lyon the issue of his running.

“I’m no political animal, Shane. I’m content where I am as Minister of Tourism and running these safari clubs with Luke. Leah is the politician in my immediate family. And by the way, if you and Betty need to be flown somewhere for campaign reasons, I’ll be glad to do the honors if I’m not on a safari,” Ashley had told Shane.

When the candidates were announced the scandal rags heated up. Betty’s book on her affair with Shane went into its fourth printing and hit the shelves again in abundance. Glenda Gorilla cranked out weekly articles on Shane’s coming illegitimate child with his former sister-in-law, Caroline Cheetah. Nothing was too tawdry and tasteless to be probed in depth and printed.

Betty and Shane had a long row to hoe. They planned their campaign trips. The first was on the same presidential train that had seen Shane seduced by Caroline Cheetah. Ralph insisted he take it to northern Kenya. Betty joined him as did the press corps. Charley Lyon asked his brother, Ashley, to fly him and his lioness wife, Lolita to a day of campaigning in Nairobi. Ashley was glad to help his younger brother. Their first appearances were very telling. Shane Simba refused to lay low his opponents. He preferred to stick to the issues that he would address if elected. Charley Lyon, long embittered by the fact of his father having made Shane his vice president, stuck it to Shane in an all out attack on his morals, wife and general misconduct in the past. The humans slung the mud at each other, Charley and Shane, decrying another round of lions as president.

The train wound its way to the major villages in the northern part of Kenya. Betty would walk with Shane as the villagers mobbed them. Instead of a fancy wardrobe, Betty dressed simply in dresses made of African prints and designs. On her feet were simple sandals. She would address the women in small meetings as well as walk with them to their homes. She won their hearts. Betty’s strong points were basic warmth and the fact that, after her makeover, she looked human. She managed to bridge the gap between her lion spouse and the native people he wanted to vote for him. She charmed the village women with her naturalness and sense of humor. Shane realized that he had an enormous political asset in Betty. He would tell her in the darkness of their luxurious bedroom car on the train. They would make love and then speak of their plans for further campaign trips. Betty could never get enough of watching her handsome husband speak to a crowd. She would sit or stand with the group, happy in the knowledge that this lion was hers when the doors closed behind him after a day of working the crowd, shaking hands and speaking of other’s problems with them. Shane, always an eloquent speaker, grew more so. With the animal population of Kenya, Shane and Betty were already winners. Charley and Lolita Lyon lacked the charisma of the vice president and his wife. Both being basically shy, they failed to project the needed vibes to launch a successful crusade for votes. With Shane Simba’s natural star quality and Betty’s polished personality he was ahead in the polls by a vast gap.

Ralph asked me to accompany Betty and Shane on their next train trip.

“What are you doing to support Charley? Do you think he may need my help? Shane’s pretty seasoned, Ralph.”

“Kenya is not a toy to me, Maury. I want Shane Simba to fill my shoes. He is the one that can guide Kenya into even greater things. Charley is my son and I love him but he is not the one to follow me as president. Shane Simba is.”

“I’ll be glad to go the next time, Ralph.”

The next trip was to Nakuru and on to Lodewar near Lake Rudolph at the tip of northwest Kenya. Once again, we would have use of the presidential train. I realized that one reason Ralph wanted me to accompany Betty and Shane was that the citizen’s of Kenya had long recognized me as being Ralph’s right arm. He was sending the subtle message that Shane Simba was his choice for president. In Nakuru, I walked with Betty while she spoke with the town women. I had to admire her grace under pressure. At one place we visited, Betty fielded a discussion group of local ladies and young people. She was astute and very solicitous in answering their questions and addressing their concerns. I was greatly impressed. I witnessed the couple bonding even more strongly in this new undertaking. Where I had once feared that the combination of Betty, who bored quickly, and Shane, the player, was a natural recipe for marital disaster, I began to realize that their union was a remarkable one. She only wanted to be there for him but instead of taking advantage of this utter devotion, he treated her as full and respected partner asking her advice on many occasions. There was no patronizing on his part. I remembered his late wife, Catherine, telling me that despite his playing around he had never failed to treat her as an equal in all ways. At the end of a long day of having gone about, speaking with people and animals, watching native dancers perform and everything that the campaign trail entailed, Shane, Betty and I would kick back in the private lounge car, drinking and discussing our impressions of the day. The more I saw of the young and inspiring vice president, the more I grew to like him personally. I would be working for him when Ralph retired. It was pleasant to know that we would work well together. Ralph and I were like two comfortable old shoes sitting side by side in a closet. We could finish each other’s sentences. It was important that I like his successor. I felt no doubt that Shane would win the election. Everyone’s reaction to him was intense and although of a different sort, his magnetism matched Ralph’s.

Shane and Betty campaign in Nakuru.....

We worked our way to the northwest quarter of Kenya skirting Lake Rudolph. Many villages were so small that Shane would speak to them from the back of the train. It was a successful junket but we faced our greatest challenge in the heavily populated Nairobi.

Charley Lyon, sensing the futility of running against the charismatic Shane Simba, dropped from the race. This left Shane in opposition to two parliament ministers who were human and both relatives of former presidents of Kenya. One was even connected to the legendary Jomo Kenyatta who had first introduced animal conservation in Kenya. Shane geared up for a major battle in Nairobi.

A new scandal sheet cropped up showing the before and after pictures of Betty. It also affirmed her numerous marriages. The article brought up the fact that Betty’s first husband was the white tiger, Montecore of the Las Vegas mauling fame who retired to the Mara to run a gay night club. Caroline Cheetah continued to feed Animal Enquire juicy tidbits under her pen name of Pearly Pussy.

There is one very different thing about East Africa as opposed to a place like America. We do not demand high morals of our leaders. If they don’t steal us blind while they live in veritable castles, we are content to leave their personal lives out of the fray. Ralph Lyon had a history of leadership that managed to bring both humans and animals to a better situation in society. He didn’t differentiate between his human and animal constituents, giving fair play to each. As a result, the economics had never been better in Kenya. Tourism was at an all time high. I think the scandals dug up on Shane and Betty, some of quite recent vintage, rolled off the backs of the citizen’s of Kenya. They came out in droves to see the lion vice president and his almost human wife. Both Shane and Betty pressed the flesh until his paw and her hand had to be soaked in Epsom salts at night. During one trip we took to Malindi in Ashley Lyon’s plane, Shane developed laryngitis and Betty had to give his speech. They were going to campaign up until their trip to England. After Christmas, the couple would intensify their efforts.

The Leoparde family jet took off with Sloane and Caitlin (Cougar) Simba, and Alexander Simba. The group was tense, Sloane dreading the occasion and having fought with Caitlin the night before. Alexander chewed his claws in nervousness. He had no idea what he would be met with. He knew his in-laws, Sylvia and Bernard, would be their gracious selves. His major source of nerves was the reaction of his estranged wife, Lucy. She had given birth to two new cubs while in Montana. Even the stewards pressing good drink on the passengers didn’t soothe their individual angst.

Stella Simba is very much in love with Daniel Lyon. She is looking forward to a new career in films and has a devoted lover. Life is sweet for Stella with one exception. Maude Lyon, Daniel’s mother is very set against his going with her. Maude loathes the Simba pride.

The holidays caught us all very satisfied romantically. Lachlan Lion and I are as close as ever. Bertram Baboon is enjoying a remarkable relationship with Lachlan’s friend from Tsavo, Harold. We made a very nice foursome during this time, dining at either Bertram’s wonderful home or mine. Lachlan still lives in his small condo near the Watering Hole so brought marvelous foods for the occasions, not having the room to entertain as well. Sometimes we would discuss moving in together but those conversations ended with both realizing that we needed to cut back our career schedules to make this work. We were still too occupied with our work. I have asked Def Leopard to order him a state of the art customized truck for Christmas. Lachlan does adhere to this means of transportation. As for Betty and Shane Simba, they are among the happiest. Betty having realized her dream of marrying him continues her adoration with full force. He appreciates her calm, caring and very helpful ways more and more. His children thrive under her love and care. They have bonded into one of the most devoted couples in the area.

Meanwhile, Caroline Cheetah blossoms in her pregnancy. Her television gastronomic show is extremely popular and Irving Impala is considering giving her an evening time slot. She is still dashing about the set, occupying herself with the tasks assigned the dish she is creating. Her pregnancy is now very obvious. This pleases her immensely. Shane Simba’s run for the presidency plays right into her paws. It is common knowledge that she is pregnant with his cub. He has never publicly denied her claims.

Caroline on the set of her cooking show....

The plane rolled across the tarmac at the small regional airport near Butte, Montana. Sylvia and Bernard, Carl and Georgia Cougar and Lucy Cougar Simba were there to meet them. Lucy held young James Simba to greet his dad, Alexander. Sloane was hung-over and held back as Caitlin greeted her parents with warm demonstrative affection. Sylvia and Bernard greeted Alexander warmly. Two cars transported the tired and agitated party to the Cougar compound which contains Sylvia and Bernard’s large home, two guest cottages and a home for Bernard’s parents. Junior Lyon greeted them with hot cider. Lucy took Alexander to her room where two tiny cubs rested in small cribs. He picked each up and held it to him. Tears streamed from his eyes. He and Lucy spent a long time with their children. When they came downstairs to join the group, it was obvious from their faces and body language that their marriage was back on track. The same could not be said of Sloane and Caitlin. They remained tense around each other to the great sorrow of her parents. It seems that if things don’t improve with this marriage, it will hit the rocks not long after the New Year.

Steven Simba was making strides with his pursuance of Cameron Caracal. She had dined with him at Croc’s Bar & Grill, enjoying the exceedingly romantic atmosphere of that river restaurant. But upon arrival back at her condo, she had given him abrupt thanks and slammed the door in his face. Two days later she phoned him at his office and invited him to dine with her in her home. She had set an elegant table for two complete with the proverbial candles. Wine chilled in a silver bucket.

“I cooked you something huge,” she announced. “I know you lions must chow down. You’re such rapacious creatures.”

“Shit, that’s a charming thing to say to a guest,” he laughed handing her flowers wrapped in a neat bundle and tied with purple ribbon. “I don’t think I ate the table at Croc’s, did I?”

“Just the equivalent of a pony.”

After a few drinks while he helped her in the kitchen, they sat down to a very fine meal. The chunk of meat she served was very hefty. It was also delicious. They enjoyed their meal chatting pleasingly but with the usual edginess that existed between them. They sat in her living room and enjoyed a cognac. Finally, not wanting to push the envelope, he stood to go. She stood too. Her paw went to his belt buckle and loosened it.

“So you want to indulge in my ravenous lion behavior on a more intense level?” he asked, unbuttoning her blouse.

“Why do you think I fed you so well?” she purred. “I wanted to give you strength.”

“My strength is always there. That is one of the neat things about being a lion,” he breathed into her neck. “You are an odd one, Cameron.”

“How so?” she asked, putting a red clawed paw in his shirt, where she had opened two buttons, and caressing his chest.

“I’m not getting tired of you,” he moaned.

“What a marvelous compliment,” she snarled. “You are all about yourself, aren’t you?”

“Right now, I’m all about you,” he said picking her up and heading for her bedroom.

He spent the entire night.