Maurice & Friends

Betty stood aside on the tarmac in Kampala, Uganda. The stirring Kenyan anthem was being played and her husband was standing with the president of Uganda. The flag of Kenya was flying alongside the flag of Uganda. As was her practice, she fell in love with Shane Simba all over again. They were then taken to the guest quarters of the president’s home in that city. Shane was in a quirky mood, placing kisses on her face as they dressed for dinner with President: Yoweri Museveni and his main ministers and their wives. He seemed bouncy and on top of his game. She was wary. She would speak to him and it seemed as if he had to snap out of some fog inducing reverie to take in her conversation. He was in his own world and Betty was afraid she wasn’t a part of it. She knew she looked great in a wonderful dress designed for her by Janice Jaguar Simba.

During dinner, she sat with the president’s wife and those of the ministers. The males were mostly seated together. She loved the warmth of the African women. Looking almost human herself, Betty had no trouble relating to them. They knew of her work with the AIDS problem and respected her for it. The dinner passed pleasantly and then they were back in the guest quarters. Shane was still in a sensual mood, dancing her around to imaginary music. He kissed her face and neck, undressing her slowly. He entered her and they began to make love. She became lost in the moment until it happened……

“Dina,” he breathed into her neck.

She threw him off of her with all the force she could muster but by that time he had realized his faux pas. He sat on the side of the bed, making no effort to explain.

“Shane, have you had that girl?” she screamed.

“No, Betty…..I swear to God I have NOT!”

“Then why call me by her name? “

She sobbed with uncontrollable hysterics. She felt her heart would physically crack into a million pieces within her chest so great was her pain.

“I guess because I want to have her,” he announced, jumping up and grabbing a cigarette from the dresser and lighting it.

“You son of a bitch, go stick it in her and get it over with. I am actually glad that we married because now I believe this may be the cure for my obsession for you. I believe I will hate your guts very soon now, Shane.”

“Betty, I love you. I never want you to hate me or leave me.”

“You are the fucking president of a country and yet you are so naļve that you think I will take any kind of abuse from you and end up loving you

at the end of the day?"

“Betty, you have always known what I was about. You have said you wanted me at any price. What happened to that facet?”

“But you said you had changed. You have been so different. I had hope, Shane.”

He sat next to and put an arm around her. She threw it off.

“Don’t touch me. I will find someway to resolve this demonic catch-22, but until I do, don’t you fucking touch me.”

Sometimes utter hopelessness is a potent sleep inducer. Betty slept like a log that night. Shane did the opposite.

It seemed as if the anguish and bad vibes saturating the State Mansion these days were rubbing off on the rest of the population. I felt edgy as did many. Betty had returned from Uganda and Nigeria and moved her things to one of the spare rooms in the mansion. She was tight lipped and humorless about her business in the State House. I tried to josh on occasion but it was not received at all well. Shane took to recklessness, ordering the new Mercedes Benz SCL600 and insisting on driving it on his own without guards or chauffeurs. He knew he was spinning out of control and hated himself for it. He wished Betty would offer some comfort but realized that he had hurt her too badly. He placed a call to Lachlan Lion on a particularly desperate day. Lachlan arrived at Shane’s office during his lunch hour although that hadn’t been a request of the president’s. All Shane had said to Lachlan was “please help me”. When Lachlan sat down to face Shane Simba, he was given a lovely lunch to enjoy while defragging our leader.

“Well, let’s see……we seem to have multiple issues to confront according to our initial conversation,” began Lachlan.

“Uh huh, I want a girl but have not had her yet nor will I take her. Betty is very hurt by that,” began Shane.

“Can’t imagine why that would be. Quite frankly if I was a female and you were my husband, I would be glad of anyone that relieved me of you.”

“When you counseled me before, I sensed a dislike toward me. It’s still there, isn’t it?”

“Quite frankly, Mr. President, it damn sure is. I thought you had grown beyond your sexual addictions. You have a wife who adores you and has been there for you every step of the way and yet when you want some female, it gnaws at your infantile sensibilities. I can understand in a text book sort of way but as far as grasping it literally – I think it’s the most immature and ridiculous thing in the world. I wonder about my country with you at the helm.”

The two lions sat opposite each other with narrowed eyes. This was less than a pleasant exchange.

“Ralph Lyon was a player and he ran the country like a top,” said Shane, adopting a defensive mode.

“Ralph is a pride lion. He never swore fealty to one female. Mildred was the one that was the problem in that equation.”

“So you are giving me no clemency or latitude?”

“The only thing I can think is that possibly, swayed by Betty’s love and sympathy, you married too soon after Catherine’s death. However, don’t use that as a loop hole. You played the whore with Catherine too.”

“What’s your suggestion, Lachlan?”

“Grow the fuck up, Shane. You have a family that needs you as well as an entire nation. Get past your gonads and think with the main branch. Get over yourself. Short of shooting your dick, I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“You are one tough mother. No wonder everyone dotes on you so. How the hell can I get with the ticket in Betty’s book again?”

“Do you know how to make the prostration by bowing and scraping – nose low to the floor, forehead coming into play?” laughed Lachlan.

“I’ll go one better – I’ll do both ends,” chuckled Shane. “Can I have another session?”

“Sure you can, as many as you pay for,” said Lachlan, getting up and giving Shane a mock salute. Shane sat behind his desk and roared with laughter as the lion shrink made his exit.

Shane Simba got off the elevator to the family quarters in the mansion. He asked Betty’s whereabouts and was told she was in the shower. He knew it was the guest shower. He opened the door to the room and then the bath. The shower was steaming behind glass doors. He could see his wife’s silhouette in the mist. He shed his clothes and entered. He took her in her arms. She protested only briefly before slumping against him.

“Mrs. S, I’ve been a damn fool. A stupid childish idiot, I love you and never want to risk losing you. I would be a lost soul without you.”

“And Dina?”

“Dina who?”

They stayed in the shower for two hours performing every erotic trick in their extensive catalogue of sexuality. When they got out, they went to their own room and ordered supper there. Later with lights out time, they stuck a sign, ripped from a hotel, on the door outside their room. It read - you guessed it: - Do Not Disturb.

Shane and Betty get together again....

When Lachlan walked in my house from his day’s work, I welcomed him with giggles and strong drink. I had made myself scarce as he entered Shane’s office but was very much aware of his coming there.

“I need that drink, Maury. I’ve never shrunk a damn president before,” he laughed.

“How did it go?”

“I read him the riot act, hoping he wouldn’t have me drawn and quartered. He is one bull headed mother fucker but one that has a sense of his own wrong doing. I think I made him think. I really stuck it to him.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“He wants me to. I have a feeling that a lot of his shit lies somewhere in his youth. Of course being sexy, drop dead gorgeous and charismatic has not helped matters. We’ll just have to see. How about lobster for dinner? I brought some to grill.”

“That sounds wonderful,”

I gave him a hug, counting my blessing that, because of him, I no longer suffered the wrench of a cruel love.

Linda Cougar was in nursing school now. Since Dr. Sylly Cougar Lyon was her aunt, Linda was allowed to do on the spot training nights in the Exotic Animal Clinic. She was to specialize in the treatment of AIDS patients. Her first night on duty she was assigned to follow a very efficient baboon nurse who was assisting a new doctor. Linda padded her way down the clinic corridor behind the baboon. They entered a laboratory area where stood a male lion of such great beauty that Linda drew in her breath.

He stuck out a huge paw, saying, “I’m Dr. Mnyama, Linda, glad to meet you. I hear you’re specializing in AIDS and HIV nursing.”

“Y-yes, I caught fire when I went to the villages with the president’s wife and former first lioness.”

“Good girl, this is what we need most in Kenya. Some one dedicated to fighting this virus.”

Then he was out of the room and on his way to check on patients.

Roy Lee Simba had lain fallow too long. He hankered for another movie role. He went through scripts and original material written by Gloria Chimpo. Bertram made the suggestion that he play King Arthur. His was a story filled with glory, action and marital woes – enough dramatic meat for several actors to cut their teeth on. Simone Serval signed on to play Guinevere to Roy Lee’s Arthur.

“Jan, love, how would you like to go on location with me to England for my next movie?” asked Roy Lee, nuzzling his twice wed wife and love of

his life.

“I have to finish some clothes for Betty’s wardrobe. She and Shane are going to South Africa soon. But, yes, Roy Lee, I’m dying to go on location with you. It will be like old times, darling.”

“No it won’t, Jan. When I finish shooting each day, this time around, my full focus will be on you,” he laughed. “And don’t let Betty overwork you. No matter what she wears, that damn Shane will still fuck around.”

“Oh no, Roy Lee, not again.

“Sloane tells me he’s got the hots for that new lawyer they hired – the human one at the party.”

“Oh poor Betty.”

“Well, she fucked over Sam to get to him. I guess what goes around, comes around.”

Sidney Simba was living in one of the few trailers left on the Simba pride territory. In the dead of the night, the leopard drug dealer would slip in to the area and sell Sidney the desired drugs with money stolen from his mother, Leander’s purse. Sidney, with Leander happily crocked most of the day on martinis, would take objects of worth from her home and sell them. One night, the leopard dealer was accompanied by another client – Carey Caracal. She drove with him to Sidney’s where the two affected a stoned and sloppy reunion. When Leander peeped out her back door the next morning, her son Sidney was staggering around the yard with a strange female of a mysterious species. Leander had left her glasses in an unknown part of the house. After finding them, she didn’t fret her son’s new companion. She merely upped the intoxicating content in her breakfast drink.

Dina Myers didn’t see Shane Simba at the sporting club anymore. She knew he was married and in the highest position in the land. Dina was not an immoral girl, nor was she promiscuous. She was one of the few attractive, adult virgins on the planet. However, she was in love for the first time in her life. She, who had worked to pull herself up by the bootstraps, had never had time for luxuries like romance. Now, here she was in love with the most unfeasible and unattainable male around. She dug her heels in at the office and caught the attentions of Sloane Simba, who was the head of Simba Brothers. Sloane, for all his dicking around personally, was not a flagrant animal where his career was concerned. He didn’t notice Dina for sexual reasons but for the brilliance of her cutting edge mind. Dina was a walking encyclopedia of African law. He promoted her, making her an associate and increasing her salary. She rented the cottage that Caroline Cheetah had vacated when she moved to Lyon Towers. Sloane had told her of it. Caroline was her landlady. She set about creating a nest. Having inherited her belabored mother’s green thumb, she planted a lovely garden. Potted plants sat bunched on the front porch. She spent her weekends at small shops, collecting nice things for her home. She was set to live a career filled life with little else attached. She had printed photos of Shane Simba and placed them carefully in her closet,out of view.