One might surmise that Halloween is a superfluous affair among African animals. It would have been a nonissue except that our first lioness, Mildred, being rather charmingly enamored of American culture, adopted it for our own. Hillary Clinton even came the first year to aid her in implementing this occasion that didn’t appeal that much to our kind. After all, we animals are always in costume. In fact, you humans mimic our natural look on Halloween night in America. Spectacular ape and lion costumes abound, mixing with the other bizarre paraphernalia such as feather boas, leopard and cheetah attire with feline whiskers painted crudely on human faces. But being loyal to the first lioness, Sylvia Leoparde Cougar had long ago embraced the holiday with great gusto. Do keep in mind that Sylvia and Bernard Cougar love to entertain in their wonderful home on Leoparde Drive. And what better excuse for a whopping bash than the bizarre, rather decadent Halloween. Sylvia issued her invitations early this year. The invitees are to come in costume. The invitations went out to the A-List.

A very large and elaborate home is being constructed on Lyon Avenue not too many doors from that monstrous creation built by Maude and Harold Hyena. The house  belongs to Irving Impala who has attained  wealth as the owner of WMM-TV. Irma, his wife, who has always been a noxious sort in my opinion, is gaining ascendancy in the social clubs of the Masai Mara. She has finally attained her dream of being the president of Prey For Safety, an irrelevant female club that no longer has any meaning in the no kill government of Ralph Lyon. But it still prevails and has become more social than practical. This year, Irma has ascended into the top echelon of that organization, thrilling her no end.

Irving and Irma Impala....

Shane Simba was in his favorite place - Betty Chimpo’s bed. She placed the invitation to the Halloween party on his naked chest. He read it.

"What are you going as, Luv?" asked Betty, stroking his chest and slowly invading the lower forty with a slim crimson nailed hand.

"A lion. I’m going as a lion," he answered as he leaned over and gave her one of those kisses that made her tingle to her very toes.

Caroline Cheetah received an invitation. She was still a bit taken aback regarding her lack of male companionship. She was in her sister, Chelsea’s cottage on one of those rare occasions the two felt the urge to commune.

"I’ve been invited to Syl and Bernard’s costume bash," said Caroline. "Have any dress suggestions?"

"You could go as a stingray.  They’re certainly in this year," was her sister’s caustic response.

Nothing involving Shane Simba and Betty Chimpo could be entirely fret free. These are two highly volatile and charismatic animals - super achievers that hold important positions in life. They were bound to have their moments. They were together in her Mombasa home, having spent the day with his sister and children, jet skiing before engaging in an extended sail with Ashley, Leah and Luke Leoparde.  After the long strenuous day, Tookie Simba was playing video games with his children, leaving him free to walk to Betty’s house, taking the back road. He was in a bitchy mood, complaining about his role as vice president interfering with his private life and cutting into the time spent with his children.

"Why don’t you explain these things to Ralph and then resign?" asked Betty, trying to shock him out of his temper.

"Resign? Hell no, I’m not going to resign," he roared.

"Then stop feeling sorry for yourself."

He slammed his whiskey glass on the table, almost breaking it.

"Feeling sorry for myself, did you say?""

"I think that’s your general drift this evening."

"At least I don’t publish my self pity like you did."

"I don’t believe I know what you’re referring to, Shane."

"That damn last book of yours.......something about heaven. Your best selling whine about unrequited love."

She began to laugh.

"What’s so damn funny?"

"Us."

"What about ‘us’ do you find so amusing?"

"Absolutely everything," she told him, unbuckling the belt to his khaki slacks.

"What are you doing?"

"The same thing I always do to take your mind off  unpleasant topics."

"I must say, Fifi, that’s a very pleasant way to stop an argument......just make my dick hard."

"It seems to work."

They both laughed as they made their way to her bedroom.

One thing that Shane Simba was not accustomed to in a serious relationship was a humorous female. Catherine for all her cutting edge wit and biting conversation, like so many of the emotionally ill with true clinical symptoms, had lacked a distinct sense of humor. Catherine had been all about intensity on every level. Betty had undergone bouts of postpartum depression and in its throes was horrific. But in her natural state, she was a very funny and warm female. Shane began to loosen up under her influence. From the time he had met Catherine and throughout their marriage, he had been tense and on guard, never knowing when she would pop her cork again. Now he began to unwind. Those who knew him well and were around him a great deal, were the first to notice. He came to work with whimsical greetings for all and proceeded to go about his day with good humor and aplomb. He was even heard whistling softly to himself as he perused government documents at his desk. His monkey secretary, who had dreaded the change from the gracious Bernard Cougar, became very fond of her new boss. There was also a lightness in his step these days. A gleam in his eye which everyone read as an end to the acute phase of grieving for his deceased wife.

"When are you going to ease up on Betty and let her see her sons?

This question was posed by Shane. He was upstairs in Sam’s headquarters in the State House. He had gone to confer with him about some legal issues of State which his litter mate now captained as the Minister of Justice. They had finished that discussion. Now Shane was on another topic.

"I don’t know that this issue is any of your damn business, Shane. It’s between Betty and me."

"Oh, is Betty  a part of this plan to keep her children as far from her as possible? I think not, Sam. This is your crap and yours, alone."

"Since when did this get to be your problem, Shane? It  has nothing what so ever to do with you. Just butt out!"

"It becomes my problem when I see the female I love anguished by it."

Sam rose from the chair behind his desk and came to stand in front of his brother.

"Oh! I get the picture. Sex has turned to bigger things, huh? It’s not about fucking anymore. It’s true love?"

Sam began to chuckle.

"You find it funny, Sam?"

"Yes indeed, I do. Wait until she wants to have your child and insists on the French procedure. You’ll get your comeuppance then. She’ll shit all over you like she did me. Of course, I realize that you assisted in that betrayal. You didn’t even let her pregnancy with my cub deter you from boning her."

"So what does that have to do with anything? She’s a good mother. That’s the only factor that should come into play with her children. Your kids probably miss her. Maybe not Jason since you ripped him off when he was just a tot. But I’ll bet my bottom dollar that Joshua is going to suffer from not having his mother."

"I am so very impressed with your stirring views on parenting. You, of all creatures, have no right to lecture me on any score. You, with your abominable, undisciplined  lust, taking other’s wives and what ever  females strike your fancy. You probably made Catherine the most miserable female on earth."

Shane’s tawny eyes went flat. The two brothers stood there, rigid, for several minutes. Then realizing that a fight in the State House would disgrace them and their entire pride, they separated - Sam to his desk, Shane down stairs to his office.

Leander Simba held her weeping sister, Sarah Lee, in her arms. Leander’s cigarette ashes drifted on to Sarah Lee’s polyester clad shoulder.

"That ape, Betty Chimpo, is going to be the end of us all," moaned Sarah Lee into her sister’s ample bosom.

"Your sons seem to take to her, Sarah Lee."

This brought the lioness into an abrupt upright position.

"You are always saying things about my sons," snapped a refreshed Sarah Lee.

"They always seem to be the problem," answered Leander, drinking from her fifth martini of the morning.

Ashley Lyon rushed to the top of the stairs and made his way to the bedroom he shared with his wife, Leah. He was anxious, as always, to see her. She lay on their bed with water bottles propped precariously on both bosoms.

"What are the water bottles for this time, Leely?"

"Todd Tigeres changed the implants to a smaller size this morning. They are sore as boils," she answered cheerily.

"What the hell, Leely! Are you gonna change them regularly...like tires?" asked the astonished Ashley.

"No, I just thought as a mom and your wife, they shouldn’t be so ostentatious."

"I was beginning to groove on them."

She lifted the bottles to show him two breasts of perfect size and proportion. He smiled and attempted to touch them.

"Nooooo! Not yet, Ash. They’re still throbbing."

Wilda Wildebeest sat with Betty Chimpo on her terrace. It was a lovely evening with the scent of various tropical flowers wafting in the gentle breeze.

"Willie, we need to get a male for you now. Maybe old Ralph can be stirred to the point of at least giving you a roll in the hay."

"Oh no you don’t, Betts. I am perfectly contented with my relationship with Ralph Lyon these days. We are best friends and he’ll always have a drink with me in his office before he leaves for his house. We talk about everything."

"But don’t you ever want him to make love to you?"

"I’d probably die of fright if a lion actually mounted me for sex. We, wildebeest have a primeval fear of them in our DNA. After all we were, and still are in many countries, their major food source."

"I hadn’t thought of it that way."

"Don’t you ever get a bit frightened, Betty?"

"Oh noooooooo. Not a bit," she giggled.

Later after Wilda had left and Shane had arrived at his usual late hour, they were in her bedroom.

"Wilda asked me if I was not a bit afraid to have sex with a lion," she laughed.

"Why?" he asked, dropping his slacks to the floor. "I can understand why she would fear lions but why you?"

"I suppose she credits apes with having as much aboriginal fear of lions as wildebeests."

"I don’t think lions have ever had apes on their minds as a major food source, but of course that can all change," he laughed.

"I think I want to do you first."

"Suits me."

Shane and Betty......