Maurice & Friends

Two of Kenya’s top runners were killed in the riots ripping our country to pieces these days. Wesly Ngetich and former Olympic runner Lucas Sang were buried with honors and the attendance of the first couple of Kenya, Shane and Alexandra Simba. The Simbas went from there to Mombasa where two of Alexandra’s British friends had been murdered in their Indian Ocean front home.

Times are hard and it’s telling on Shane. He looks drawn, totally weary and without his usual dry wit and humor. He seems to collapse at the end of a super long work day and we have to persuade him to take a break as he does us.

I know our collective animal hearts broke the day President Shane Simba went on national television and radio and announced that the animals of Kenya, if endangered, would be welcome in lion president Pete Levin’s Tanzania and by special invitation of Nelson Mandela and current leader, Kruger Park in South Africa. So it may well come to that. As he left the television station in the Mara, the streets and roads were lined by weeping and cheering well wishers, both human and animal.

Four days after Shane’s broadcast was seen and heard globally, animal rights activists poured into Kenya. They were joined by other concerned public figures such as Bono. The visitors were horrified to the person that Kenya’s animal governed society is threatened. They filled the hotels in Nairobi and the Mara. Things seemed brighter at their arrival. Alexandra Simba dispelled the gloom and doom atmosphere of the mansion by holding a reception for all visiting dignitaries and activists. Lewis Lyon did the same thing, utilizing his Four Seasons Hotel as the venue. Former President Ralph Lyon and his first lioness Mildred followed suit with a picnic in the Lyon Pride Compound. Gaiety has been returned in some measure to our lives.

These various events honoring our visitors brought forth an invitation from Dickey Simba.

“Betty, I’m sure you must have been invited some of the receptions being held in the Mara,” prompted Dickey.

“I’m invited to all of them, probably by way of my role in the university,” she laughed.

“Most probably for your function as a mover and a shaker in Kenya’s recent animal history -shall we drop jaws and attend all of them together?”

“That should be fun, Dickey, let’s,” she giggled.

It happened that Lewis Lyon’s reception was the first in order. It was dressy. The major banquet rooms of the magnificent hotel were joined. A crowd already milled about when Dickey Simba, with Betty Chimpo on his arm, arrived. Jaws did do a bit of dropping; chat could be heard from all areas as the room buzzed with the appearance of the striking pair.

left, Betty and Dickey at the hotel party.........................Ralph and Mildred Lyon at same party..

Alexandra and Shane Simba at Lewis Lyon's Four Season's party....

That night after Lewis Lyon’s party, things were a bit tense between the first couple. Shane was weary and only slightly uplifted by the people pouring into Kenya in support of his government.

“Shane, would you choose Tanzania or Kruger Park if we’re forced to leave Kenya?” asked his human wife in a major fuck up in judgment.

Shane poured a Scotch from the tray and lit a cigarette. His green eyes were iridescent with irritation.

“I have been offered Tanzania and that’s an animal run society but if push came to shove, I am sure that Pete Levin would view me as a major threat and rival to his regime. I imagine I would have to pick Kruger Park.”

“I? What about us, Shane?”

“How in the hell are you going to fare in a game reserve, Alex? Are you going to get naked and help the lionesses bring down game?”

“I am sure that’s not what would be expected of you, Shane. Nelson Mandela wouldn’t offer that if he thought it was a back to nature kind of thing,” she said, her voice raw.

“If Kenya falls, Alex, Caucasians of the post colonial variety will have to flee too. I would expect you and the twins to return to England,” he snapped, pouring another three fingers of whiskey.

“And you would take your big cat children with you and eschew ours? Is that what you’re trying to say, Shane?”

“You brought this thing up, Alex, remember? You asked ME which country I’d pick. I stand on my statement that an animal reserve in South Africa won’t be fit for you, Sacha and Tanya unless you want to rent a tourist cabin and visit Daddy as he chows down on some hapless buffalo’s rump.”

His voice was bitter, his tone acid as he lit another cigarette and swilled down the drink, pouring another.

“And I suppose that as the only surviving mother of your legitimate feline offspring, you would make sure that Betty Chimpo accompanied you to Kruger.”

Shane looked up in surprise. Alexandra sounded jealous which is such a rarity on her part.

“Betty is from Gombe District in Tanzania. She has an animal governed country to return to. I would ask asylum for our sons as well. What’s your problem with Betty tonight?”

“She looked very happy with Dickey?”

“And you weren’t happy with me? I think I was dressed as stylishly as Dickey.”

“You are such a bastard, Shane. I always adore you and the way you look and as far as getting naked in Kruger Park, I doubt that would ever happen. You are far too vain and spoiled by civilization to do that. Any number of nations would accept you – the sexy and over sexed lion president of Kenya,” she argued. “You don’t have to resort to a game reserve. Of course the tourism would triple if word got out that Shane Simba was bare-assed and could be spotted in Kruger.”

Suddenly Shane began to laugh. He pulled her to him and held her close. She began to giggle too from the absurdity, underlying fear and frustration of these times.

“My God, Alex, can you see me sitting naked under a tree while, Mom, Aunt Leander and Aunt Goosey bring down a wildebeest for our dinner?”

They laughed together, breaking the unbearable tensions of the previous weeks. They then made love until the sun came up.

The admired couple had a different reaction to the party. Dickey Simba brought Betty home and sat with her on the veranda near the pool until the weak rays filtered through the fever tree that she and Shane Simba had wed beneath. Wilda Wildebeest had gone to bed hours before. The only bodily contact with Dickey had been when they danced at the party. Returning to Betty’s, they had taken two bottles of wine to the porch and talked for hours. She had learned more about his mother, Goosey, and the relentless struggle to have her live in a place of more comfort.

“My mother is a cantankerous soul. She hates her sisters, my late father and I think, at times, she loathes me,” he chuckled, but with a tinge of bitterness. “She tells me that I’m not old Sean Simba’s son.”

“Do you believe that?” asked Betty, pouring more wine in his glass.

“I don’t know….it matters little. No one in his right mind liked old Sean. He was an irascible old lion that bit, roughed up and growled at his cubs. I’m sure you realized that Shane and Sam didn’t like him either.”

“Shane doesn’t like his mother. That was very evident.”

“I think Alexandra has patched that up now but it was certainly true for ages. Sarah Lee was a great lioness, very down to earth at one time. The pride’s upward mobility and two powerhouse sons has gone to her head. Now she’s merely snotty.”

“Sam adores her.”

“Sam has always been a mama’s boy,” observed Dickey. “You married littermates who are total opposites, Betty.”

“Oh how well I know that,” she agreed.

“Who was easier, Shane or Sam?” asked an amused Dickey.

“Neither,” giggled Betty. “Sam was inflexible and judgmental and Shane is a player – or at least was with Catherine and me.”

“The jury is not in yet on Alexandra. I sense great tension between them with this human to human conflict going on in Kenya. It could endanger we animals and Shane knows this and at times, I think, resents Alexandra for being a person.”

“How do you think all of this will end, Dickey? I mean Kenya, not Alex and Shane,” asked Betty.

“We are peering over the abyss, Betty, and it is horrifying. I just hope that with help from abroad this will end. Kenya has many friends since lions took over our leadership. Shane has been an excellent and dedicated president. I have to hand it to him. Maybe we can get through this, Betty. I almost hate to think of what will happen if humans take over again after a humanitarian crisis. Usually the animals suffer extreme brutality when that happens in an African country.”

The next step came at the suggestion of Ralph Lyon – declare martial law and impound any Kikuyu and Luo tribesmen that infringed. Shane enlisted the aid of foreign agents who came here in order to take names and kick ass if necessary. These were tenuous times and our government couldn’t afford to be taken over by humans. It wouldn’t be like the old days if that happened – only much worse with an underlying revenge.

` Shane worked tirelessly, taking almost daily flights to trouble torn areas. Either Daniel Lyon accompanied him or Dickey Simba. Occasionally I went but Shane preferred I hold down the fort at the State House.

Just as there are flighty, scatterbrained beings among humans, we animals have our fair share too. Some viewed the ongoing crisis as more of an inconvenience than a potential tragedy for our country. Among them were Bertram Baboon who bemoaned not getting his favorite wines; Chloe Cougar who was not getting the attention she wanted from the media and Simone Serval, who couldn't reach by phone Dickey Simba and blamed the national problems.

Amid the younger crowd, Georgy Simba, Sean Simba and Imani Lyon set the pace for frippery despite the instability of the events in Kenya. Imani was one step ahead of her cousin Georgy in the global fashionistas’ tornado. Both young felines were striking in appearance but Georgy lacked the chutzpa of the brassy Imani. Imani was showing up on the cover of many global magazines, either dressed in the most innovative fashions or sans clothing entirely. Imani was also openly dating the lion president of Tanzania who was spending much time in the Mara aiding our president. Georgy was accepting the dregs of Sean Simba’s sleazy coupling with Dina Myers. On the plus side - if one could call it that – Georgy was ending up with Sean in her bed more nights than not. Dina was getting on his nerves.

Georgy Simba and Sean Simba attend a vodka party