Maurice & Friends

Not all the ink spent on Betty and Shane Simba was of a shameful nature. Many magazines, world wide, did very in-depth and attractive articles and essays on the presidential candidate and his wife. The pictures were stunning; the superlatives describing the couple were of a mind boggling nature. Only the Masai Mara, fueled by the envious Caroline Cheetah and Glenda Gorilla, cranked out the spawned rubbish. The rest of Kenya seemed enchanted. Betty and Shane made an initial trip to Nairobi. I accompanied them as did the First Lioness. The citizens of Nairobi came out in droves to hail their retiring first lioness and those she supported to follow. There was an amazing drive down Kenyatta Boulevard in an open stretch convertible. The crowds offered their hands to Shane who happily shook them. The culmination was an open air speech in the Plaza heading the wide street. First, Mildred Lyon spoke, followed by Shane and then a brief greeting from Betty. Later, when discussing my impressions of the day with Ralph in his office, I could only describe it as a triumph for Shane Simba.

“I knew I was right choosing that boy, Maury. I love my sons but I’m glad Charley backed off and Ashley didn’t run. Shane is the combination of brilliance and charisma needed to keep this country in the control of the animal government. The humans had control for many years and absolutely raped this country. The fat cats that ruled Kenya thought of nothing but themselves. And I am referring to the human fat cats, Maurice. We real cats helped bring about change.”

“I think he will win easily, Ralph,” I concurred.

Betty and Shane on magazine covers....

Who would have ever thought that the always thorny Vonda Vulture would eat out of the Mayor of the Masai Mara’s paw? Sylvia Cougar had not even tried to smooth the ruffled feathers of the cranky carrion eating bird. She would merely bang down her gavel when she wearied of Vonda’s eternal squawk at civic meetings. Leah Simba Lyon decided on tact. Leah was a communicator and very beloved as a result of this quality. She would listen to Vonda’s ideas, telling her kindly that her thoughts on a subject were much needed. She wouldn’t necessarily adhere to Vonda’s suggestions but the ornery vulture never felt the sting of rebuff from the tactful and adorable wife of Ashley Lyon. The civic meetings turned into love fests under the new Mayor. Leah received so many cheesecakes from Michele Mamba that she had a freezer filled with them in her home on Leoparde Drive. Leah introduced wine into the meetings which, of course, made those who liquor didn’t render jackasses, more pliable.

On one of those days when a weary but fulfilled Leah entered her front door and was greeted by her children, she went to the kitchen to find Ashley enjoying one of Michelle’s trademark cheesecakes. She gave him a big hug and sat next to him at the kitchen table. A nanny brought her a glass of white wine.

“Ash, are you disappointed in not running for the presidency?” she asked, giving him a kiss on the lips.

“No, Leely, not anymore. For a while there I thought of it but then realized that we don’t want the kind of life that entails. I think we’re happy as we are, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, Ash, I can’t see you stuck in a political role and sitting behind a desk like your dad. You are into something entirely different and soooo good at what you do. I am your number one fan, Ash.”

“Well, number one fan, would you like to show me how much you admire me while the kids are watching their television shows?”

“Yes, I would,” she giggled pulling him from the chair and toward the stairs that led to their room.

Leah Simba Lyon......

Grover Leoparde, attorney at law, got his second call from his great niece, Lucy Cougar Simba, canceling a divorce from her husband, Alexander Simba. The call came from Montana where the couple was spending the holidays with Lucy’s parents, Bernard and Sylvia Cougar. Lucy and Alexander were reveling in their three children. Alexander was the rare African lion who took to snow skiing. Lucy, being more like her cougar father, also enjoyed the snow. There were sleigh rides with the family where Lucy and Alexander would bundle up young James and take him along. They fell in love all over again.

In the main guest cottage, Sloane Simba was not enjoying his wife and the snow. He felt the same about the white, icy substance as had his half-brother, Roy Lee Simba. Not being the good natured sort, he had cringed at having to endure it. Sloane had gone to school in England like the rest of the lawyer Simbas. London did see the occasional snow but it was not the same as this scenario in the American Rockies. Here the snow was banked and piled high so that one either had to get it out of the path or eat it. On his return to the Masai Mara, Sloane was at a loss to describe his hatred of the North American landscape that was home to his wife. He spent his time sitting by the blazing fire imbibing Scotch whiskey.

Sylvia and Bernard doubted very seriously that their daughter, Chloe Cougar Simba, was as badly hurt as she managed to convey to her parents. She had attempted skiing on a steep slope, fallen and sprained her ankle. She had repaired to the chalet of Charles Mountain Lion, her brother’s best friend. As reported by Chloe, Charles was doing all manner of therapy on her. Carson Cougar assured his parents that Charles was not doing anything to rejuvenate Chloe’s injured ankle but that his sister would arrive in better shape than she left. They were puzzled at this summation but said nothing.

Linda Cougar, Carson’s errant daughter by Lola Lynx, was in a sulk. She had been forced to leave the Mara and accompany Carson and his wife, Monica, to Montana. She had spent two days with her mother who having a new boyfriend, ignored her. She had returned to the main house where the disconsolate Sloane Simba had bedded her in a corner of the attic that held an old fashioned wire spring bed. The sex had been hot, impassioned and very uncomfortable. Later, Linda joined Sloane at the fire where they both drank heavily. Caitlin Cougar was spending her days with her uncle, Bernard, cousins Sylly, Carson and her mother and dad, skiing and enjoying the snowy mountains that was home to their kind.

In the Mara, Steven Simba was plugging away at the night aerobic classes led by his desired female, Cameron Caracal. He managed to injure another hamstring. This one was unfortunately on the other leg from the one previously damaged. When he entered Simba Brothers the next morning, he was on crutches. Sam and Sidney laughed at his plight. Despite his pain he had to plow through the many cases and briefs that were piling up due to the absence of Alexander and Sloane. Two days later, Sloane arrived on the Leoparde family jet. He was sans his wife, she having remained with her family in Montana. He took up residence with Sidney and engaged in the orgies that were a trademark of the house in the bush dubbed the Simba Fuck Farm.

Roy Lee Simba tried continually to call his wife, Chloe Cougar Simba, only to be told by the various members of her family that she had injured her ankle and was staying with a friend of the family until she was properly healed. Roy Lee smelled a rat in the set up. His hopes rose. In the interim, he spent time with his ex-wife and current lover, Janice Jaguar, in either her condo or his mansion. His two cubs, Lee and Troy, who had remained in the Mara to party with their friends, were very fond of Janice. She fixed many a platter for an impromptu gathering of their school pals.

“Roy Lee, are you concerned about what’s Chloe’s up to?” she asked one evening.

They were sitting on the back veranda of his beautiful home on Leoparde Drive. The night air was soft and fragrant. The moon hung low over the Acacia trees in the back yard.

“Hell no, Jan. I truly want Chloe to indulge in her other heritage and enjoy her father’s homeland. I’m very hopeful that she’s found someone.”

“What if she has found someone, Roy Lee? Will it break your heart?”

Roy Lee held his head back and gave a great guffaw. He leaned over and took her paw in his.

“Jan, it is my dream come true. I will keep this house and we will marry again.”

“Oh, Roy Lee, what a marvelous fantasy.”

“It may be more than a fantasy, Jan. Keep your fingers crossed.”

Caroline Cheetah arrived at her flat, letting herself in the door. Suddenly she felt a pain. She lit a cigarette and went to her kitchen for a glass of wine. There she was hit by a second and third. They were rhythmic. She called the Exotic Animal Clinic and spoke with Dr. Frank Tigeres who sent an ambulance for her. Upon arrival at the hospital she was taken to an examining room where she was found to be in labor.

“Is it too early, Dr. Tigeres?” asked a frightened Caroline.

“No, Caroline. You’re just ten days or so away from your delivery date,” he answered.

Caroline rent the labor room with her screams. Her mother failed to comfort her although she had arrived when Frank had called. Christine Cheetah Mbube arrived at her mother’s request. Cynthia had placed a call to Chelsea Cheetah Cougar who had declined saying she had final rehearsals for her ballet, The Nutcracker. At four o’clock in the morning, Caroline gave her last scream and produced a mewing cub that looked like his lion father. She was in raptures. The media gathered in the clinic halls having gotten wind of the imminent birth of Caroline’s love child. When the official from the Mara arrived to establish the name for the newborn cub, Caroline lit a cigarette before she delared the name.

Exhaling a stream of smoke toward the ceiling, she announced, “His name is Shane Simba, Jr.”

The media went wild upon being told this very juicy and delectable tidbit. They stormed the halls of the clinic trying to get a picture of the cub. Toward afternoon the small bundle arrived to be placed in a crib by his mother’s side in her private room. Caroline made sure she looked her best, donning a peignoir of lace and silk. She had the nurse put the baby in her arms and summon the reporters to her room.

The next morning, the reporters stormed the entrance gates to Shane and Betty’s home. The front page of the Masai Mara Daily had sported the glowing picture of mother and son as had every newspaper in Kenya. Betty opened the paper and saw the picture of Caroline holding the son she so desired. There were many unhappy faces around the breakfast table that morning. Betty made a brave effort not to look mournful. Staci was livid. Sean, still rather young, was not too perturbed. Arlon, like his mother, made a plucky attempt at getting everyone’s attention off the headlines.

“Daddy, she doesn’t have a right to name him Shane Simba, Jr., does she?” cried Staci Simba.

“I suppose she can name him what she wants, Staci,” groaned Shane. “We didn’t name Sean that so the field is open.”

“It’s not fair, Daddy,” cried Staci and left the table.

“Is that your little cub, Daddy?” asked Sean, the true heir to that name.

“I don’t know yet, Sean. I am going to demand a DNA test.”

“What’s that?”

“Just a test, Sean, it’s no big deal,” answered his unhappy father.

Arlon and Sean left the table heading for Staci’s room to comfort her. Shane looked at Betty who had lit a cigarette.

“Fifi, I know this is a low blow to you. I will make sure she has that DNA test made.”

“I don’t think that’s a wise thing to do, Shane. You had sex with her and in the proper time frame she has a cub that looks exactly like a lion. I think you will be putting yourself in a tougher spot if you press the test,” counseled Betty, pushing the paper with the picture toward him.

“Betty, she was screwing my half brothers too. It may be theirs.”

“You’ve already spoken to Sloane and the others. They are sticklers on using birth control. You aren’t. If that test comes out positive for you as the dad, she will have more ammunition to aim at you.”

Shane got up without another word and left the house on his way to the State House. The driver made his slow way through the mass of reporters lining the street. Betty went upstairs and cried the rest of the morning.

Caroline Cheetah requested a court ordered DNA test for her new son. She had taken him home and petitioned Judge Bo Bonobo who heartily disliked the Simbas and lions in general, to force Shane Simba to comply. He had no choice, not wanting to make even a bigger issue. The test proved conclusively that Caroline Cheetah’s son was also that of the vice president. It was the big news story the following day. The media went wild. The only thing to do, decided Betty and Shane mutually, was to call a press conference. Ralph Lyon suggested they hold it at the State House so the world would know he backed Shane. When Shane had conferred with Ralph on the scandalous matter, Ralph reiterated to the young lion that he still backed his run for the presidency.

“I married a dik dik and created a biggie while I was president. They forgot. The world forgot, Kenya forgot,” he reminded Shane. “And that’s not even including the leopardess I wed.”

Betty and Shane faced the reporters in the garden of the State House. Many unpleasant and harsh questions were thrown at the couple but they presented a united front which to most observers appeared genuine. It was obvious from the things they said and the accompanying body language, the couple adored each other. On questions as to whether Shane would be responsible in supporting and raising his son, he gave a no comment.

Caroline Cheetah in an effort to keep the matter in the spotlight took her small son with her everywhere. She even introduced him on her cooking show. She was seen in the afternoons on the deck of the Watering Hole Pub with small Shane in a sling carrier. She welcomed any and all photographs taken by the paparazzi. She would make sure the small cubs face was in full view of the cameras showing his decided leonine look. Betty was assaulted with pictures, daily, of the child she wished she had borne.

Caroline Cheetah flaunts her newborn son, Shane Simba, Jr.

On Shane and Betty’s next campaign venture, it was obvious that Kenya didn’t give a rip that Shane had an illegitimate cub. As far as the Kenyans were concerned lions will be lions when it comes to sex but a lion had proven to be their best leader to date. Shane Simba was their beloved president’s choice to follow him. So the matter of Caroline and her cub didn’t deter the matters of State in the least. The Shane Simba campaign continued to roll along unimpeded. He was met with adoring crowds where ever he went.

Betty and Shane were finally able to take a weekend in Mombasa. Shortly they would leave for their trip to England. Ashley and Leah Lyon were in residence as well as Roy Lee whose guest was Janice Jaguar. Staci got absorbed in wave running with her good friend and fellow cheerleader, Lee Simba, and Arlon Lyon. She, like most young, quickly forgot the problems of the adult world when faced with the delights of youth. It was a relaxing and fun time. Betty loved her niece by marriage, Leah and had always loved and admired Janice Jaguar who had designed many an article of clothing for her. The three females enjoyed leisurely hours together while Shane boated or wind surfed with Ashley.

When Shane walked into their house, tired from a day of water sports, he took Betty in his arms.

“It’s good to get a break from stumping and just have this time together, Fifi,” he said, nuzzling her throat.

Staci and Arlon were spending the night at Roy Lee’s and Sean was with Ashley and Leah’s cubs for the night. Betty and Shane relaxed on the terrace with drinks and cigarettes. They ate take out from Wally’s Beach Pub and went to their room where they made love. They slept in each others arms as the moon hovered over the indigo ocean.

“Betty, are you going to be satisfied just leading the life of a president’s wife? You have always been such a dynamic female in your own right?” asked Shane the next morning over coffee.

“I will be happy anywhere and with anything that I share with you, darling.”

“You know that you can always write or take a job. I won’t care if you don’t just feel happy being my help mate.”

“I will write and also be by your side, Shane. I have wanted you since I first laid eyes on you. Anything that I do that helps you and keeps me with you is fine with me.”

“You will always be with me, Betty. That is a given. I never knew what a real partnership could be between male and female until I married you. I love you and we will always be together as long as we live. I just want you to be happy.”

“I will be happy as long as I can be with you, my darling.”