Maurice & Friends

Johanna, upon occupying the house Chris rented for them in the neighborhood, made a bad miscalculation. She paid a visit to Betty’s home. If it had been Alexandra Simba one could imagine the visit to be of a genuinely friendly nature but Johanna Delacroix Simba was a different ball of wax altogether.

When Betty came to the front door, Johanna opened the conversation with,” I thought the two of us could chew the fat since the same bastard broke our hearts. Want to dish some dirt about Shane?”

Wilda Wildebeest had followed Betty to the door.

“Just say ‘no’ and close the door, Betts,” advised Wilda.

Betty needed no prompting. She slammed the door very hard causing the furniture in the hall to rattle.

“You don’t want to get involved with that one, Betts. When Ralph was still in the State House, she tried to accuse him of rape. She is a trouble maker.”

“I know and thank you, Willie.”

Johanna pays an unwelcome visit to Betty and Wilda Wildebeest....

Alexandra’s Simba's next project was to host a luncheon on the lawn of the State House for the Prey for Safety Club and the Mayor’s office staff. Maude Hyena is the Mayor of the Masai Mara since Leah’s defection with her deputy being Carolyn Cape Buffalo. Irma Impala chairs the Prey for Safety League which consisted of hoofed ladies who are no longer prey in today’s Kenya but cpntinue to hold meetings.

“It’s totally defunct in nature,” I giggled to Alexandra as we stood in Shane’s office just before she joined the female livestock outside. “There is no predation going on.”

“Let them have their fun, Maurice,” laughed Shane. “They want to bend each others ears and pretend they still have problems with the predators that are thronging the supermarkets buying their meat these days.”

“Wish me luck,” said Alexandra and went out the door.

The day was very hot and it wasn’t too long before Carolyn Cape Buffalo entered my office with a much shaken Alexandra by her side. It seems that the pregnant First Lady had fainted dead away in the heat of the African noon sun. Shane came in just as his wife was sitting down with several cold cloths applied to her face.

“What happened, Carolyn?” asked an alarmed Shane.

“She fainted, Sir. Of course pregnant humans will do that,” tittered Carolyn. “They aren’t exactly buffalo.”

“It was disgusting of me,” groused Alexandra. “I have NEVER fainted in my entire bloody life.”

“It’s freaking hot out there, Alex. No wonder you passed out,” soothed her husband.

“You stay in the heat a great deal but you don’t faint, Shane,” said Alexandra with a distinct frown.

“I’m a lion and not pregnant either, Alex,” he cajoled.

“One that loves the AC too, I might add.”

“You will be fine, dear, you just need to rest more,” encouraged Carolyn.

“I’m going back out there with you, Carolyn,” insisted Alexandra attempting to stand and sitting back down immediately.

“Bernice will cover for you, Alex. We’re going to the mansion and you’re going to take a long nap,” instructed Shane.

Betty stood in the Masai Mara air terminal in tears. She was seeing her next to the oldest son, Joshua Simba, off to England and the university where her eldest son Arlon Lyon was studying law. Sam Simba was also there to bid his oldest cub farewell. Joshua, being a fine, caring and studious lad, was a great comfort to Betty in Arlon’s absence. As Joshua left to board the commuter jet to Nairobi, he made a last wave to his parent’s before being lost from sight out the airport door that led to the tarmac and waiting plane.

“Let me take you to lunch, Betty. We can cry over some martinis at OKAPI’S,” invited Sam.

“That would be lovely, Sam. I am going to miss our son even more than I probably realize.”

Betty and her ex-husband, Sam Simba, see their son Joshua off to school in England...

OKAPI’S buzzed with the early lunch crowd as Betty and Sam entered. They were shone to a table and ordered double martinis. Once seated, the conversation naturally turned to Shane Simba, Betty’s ex-husband and Sam’s litter mate.

“Sam, do you think this marriage will last with Shane?” asked Betty, kicking herself for wanting another opinion on the matter.

Sam took a drink of his martini before answering.

“I don’t know, Betty. Your guess is as good as mine….probably better because you’ve been his wife. I’m just a brother. If I had my guess, it would be that Shane will eventually tire of her as he does everyone. She is unusual though.”

“As much as I resent her, I find her charming as well,” admitted Betty.

“How in the hell did you get so wrapped up in Shane, Betty?”

“I don’t know, Sam. I just fell all over myself the day I met him at your mother’s brunch. I know I was awful to you in my desire for Shane but I was absolutely beside myself – totally obsessed. I still am.”

“That’s all water under the bridge as far as our marriage went, but I do feel sorry for you still going on about him. I pity any female who loves my litter mate.”

“Do you resent his owning a shipping company with Lewis Lyon?”

“No, in all fairness, Shane offered that company to the entire Simba pride but Sefu and Chris voted it down. Roy Lee was in Italy at the time and has beaten himself with an emotional stick because he didn’t fly home and vote in the pride corporation meeting. It’s too late now but Shane did try to let the pride benefit from that one.”

“Johanna is my new neighbor, Sam. She came down the other day and wanted to dish some dirt on Shane but my pal Wilda told me to close the door on her,” giggled Betty. “I did.”

“Johanna is a bad one, Betty. Wilda was right in telling you to close the door. She’s all about trouble. Chris will find that out sooner than later.”

Chris Simba was discovering the machinations of his rather sly human bride who had previous sexual knowledge of three of his brothers. Johanna went on a shopping spree to Harrods and Chanel in the Lewis Lyon Mall, bringing home a purse costing 125,875 Kenyan shillings and four pricey dresses from Chanel. They were charged on Chris’ American Express card. He almost fainted.

Alexandra set about issuing invitations to the entire Simba pride for a barbecue to be held at Shane’s new bush home deep in the Mara. She and Shane paid another visit to the Exotic Animal Clinic and Dr. Frank Tigeres. Frank did an ultrasound and caught two heart beats.

“Looks like we have twins here,” he chuckled.

“Frank, please tell Alex that she needs to take it easy. She keeps going at an incredible pace. She fainted the other day,” reported Shane.

“She seems quite fit and I’m sure she knows what she can do, Shane. Are you still riding horses, Alexandra?” asked Frank.

“Yes, is that suitable?”

“I suppose as long as it’s nothing new for you. I never deal with horseback riding issues in my pregnant animal patients,” he chuffed. “Everything looks very good though, young lady.”

Two members of the Simba pride refused to attend the barbecue at Shane and Alexandra’s home. Even though Roy Lee went to his mother’s home before hand and read her the riot act, Sarah Lee wouldn’t budge. Even Goosey Simba attended as well as Leander. Roy Lee and Janice went to see Alexandra’s horses in the stables. Roy Lee had learned to ride for many of his movie roles and told Alexandra he would ride some day with her.

Another Simba of recent vintage also refused the invitation. It was Johanna Delacroix Simba who didn’t want to see Shane happy with his new and pregnant wife. Chris happily attended alone.

The evening was blessed with perfect weather and the pride milled around, impressed with the delightful Alexandra. The food was outstanding and a great time was had by all, reported Shane to me the next day at the State House.

“Did your mother attend, Shane?” I asked.

“No, thank goodness, she would have put a damper on the whole thing. Aunt Goosey and Aunt Leander came and even did a dance on one of the tables. The pride blew it out. I think they had a lot of fun,” he reported. “All thanks to my wonderful wife.”

Shane was invited to America as a guest of Hillary and Bill Clinton. He took Alexandra with him. This was not an official visit since Shane was going nowhere near the White House but word got out on the eve of their arrival. Excitement ran high in regard to the first couple of Kenya. Plans had to be ditched for the couple’s stay in the Clinton’s New York City home. Crowds banked the street where the Clinton home was and emergency reservations had to be made at the Waldorf which has a back entrance. Shane and Alexandra were mobbed like rock stars the three days of their visit in Manhattan visit. They attempted to pull the clothes off of Shane and harassed Alexandra with requests for autographs. The Simbas had fun with the Clintons, one night going to a Greenwich Village jazz club where Bill played his saxophone and Shane and Alexandra danced to his music. That weekend they went with the Clintons to their Martha’s Vineyard home where Bill rode horses with Alexandra on the beach while Shane and Hillary sat on deck chairs watching and discussing her run for the presidency.

Shane and Alex with New York onlookers....Alexandra with Bill Clinton riding on the beach.....Shane on the beach in Martha's Vineyard....

Shane and Alexandra dance as Bill plays the saxophone in a jazz club.....

The newspaper headlines read: TYCOON TO JOIN THE PRESIDENT IN ANOTHER BUSINESS VENTURE: Lewis Lyon and Shane Simba are to be partners in a new multimillion dollar business enterprise.

Shane and Lewis kept the details of their next joint venture undercover, saying as little as possible. I do know that the affable Lewis lunched with Shane quite often in his private State House dining room.

One day Alexandra, Bernice Bear and I were lunching in her office and Bernice inquired as to the reason Ralph’s industrialist son was visiting so often these days.

“I believe that Lewis and my husband are making plans to become even richer,” giggled Alexandra.

It soon became apparent what the two were about. It seems they have bought a great deal of land in the rapidly developing Tanzania that borders our country and has caught the desire to take advantage of some of our civilizing aspects. It seems that in the coming Tanzanian presidential elections, a lion is running against humans. Shane is backing him. Lewis has poured a great deal of money into his campaign.

Betty and Jack Tarzan sat on the veranda of his bush home in the shank of the evening when the go-away birds were calling and the cicadas were sounding.

“I’m going to Tanzania on an assignment for Bob Bushbuck and Janie next week, Betty. He wants me to do a story on the lion that’s running for the presidency there. Want to go with me? I’m sure Bob would love to have you cover it too?”

“How fascinating, Jack. I’d love to go with you.”

“Shane Simba may not be the only lion president on the globe before long. I wonder how he’ll find that idea.”

“Probably won’t give a shit,” said Betty, stubbing her cigarette in the ashtray. "He was getting tired of the presidency when he came to Tanzania to see me. I think he just wants to get filthy rich so he can live like a fucking emperor. Shane always did like the good life."