Maurice & Friends

Yikes, I can breathe at last! – It is finally over except for New Year’s Eve. The anticipation of Christmas is always more fun than the actual fact. We need the holiday for self renewal and a sense of giving. It is an event that we animals in Kenya have been celebrating only in our most recent history and I must admit that we do a bit of blowing it out of all proportion in our eagerness to embrace civilization. It is good for a breather from stressful careers.

I still have time off since the State House doesn’t open for business until January 2, 2008. Lachlan, physician to the emotionally troubled is always working, having few days off. We did have a divine few days in Mombasa where we partied with Jack Tarzan, his recent lovely, Leah Simba and my old friends the Cougars and Cheetahs who celebrated Christmas day between their neighboring beach homes.

In spite of, or possibly because of, her high profile frolics, Betty Chimpo is considered something of a pacesetter. When she let Paulette Poodle remove her long locks in favor of a sculpted shorter style, there were several who copied the move. On the cover of the current ANIMAL magazine is a very fetching picture of Imani Lyon with a similar bob.

Imani Lyon on the cover of ANIMAL magazine.....

Dickey Simba stood gazing at a painting he had just hung on the living room wall of his recently acquired flat in one of Lewis Lyon’s new complexes. He adjusted it slightly and looked again. It was one of his favorites and had been purchased during his student days in Amsterdam where Dickey had completed his education. He retrieved his bong from a locked cabinet, packed it with hashish and went to sit on the balcony which had a magnificent view of the Cholulu Hills and rocky kopjes. The apartment had two floors and was quite deluxe. He lit the weed and leaned back taking a long draw from the bong. One of his regular screws, Chloe Cougar, was due in a few minutes.

Dickey and his hash filled bong in his apartment....

Christmas at the combined parties of the Cheetah and Cougar families in Mombasa was a gala affair to say the least. Although Dorian, Cynthia, Sylvia and Bernard have borne a large number of interesting offspring, some can be vexing and not always pleasant. However things went quite smoothly in spite of this. Lucy Cougar had her squeeze, Sloane Simba on hand. Bernard and Lucy led him to the beach and spent a bit of time teaching him surf fishing. Jack Tarzan took Leah Simba with Lachlan and me, taking each other. It was tremendous fun.

After a hectic Christmas with the children, Shane and Alexandra Simba took off for Lake Como, Italy on Lewis Lyon’s airbus. They flew Christmas night with their best friends, Lewis and Gina for two days of skiing and kicking back. The couples have lake-side mansions and jointly own a restaurant in that town.

Alexandra with daughter, Tanya Simba.....

Sean Simba was lolling on his king size bed in the new digs. Georgy Simba lay next to him running long lacquered nails across his naked torso. Georgy was delighted to get her former squeeze back. Sean was distracted. Betty Chimpo had either been giving him the run around or just plainly not taking his calls. Troy Simba was in his own room with Sandi Sandcat, who had been privy to Sean’s sexual favors – a fact unknown to Troy. Sean wished his father had invited him to join them in Italy. He fancied taking up snow skiing, having seen pictures of some hot chicks that hung around the Alpine resorts. Sean was suffering from a case of supreme boredom. Soccer practice wouldn’t resume until the New Year and the pro-football team was still pulling itself into formation. There was absolutely no way for him to entertain himself short of screwing his brains out. He rolled over and parted the full thighs of his cousin, Georgy. She moaned and they were off to the races again.

In another quarter, Ashley and Staci Simba Lyon were wracking their brains to come up with meaningful names for their newborns. The baptismal was slated for the first Sunday in 2008. It was to be a high profile and very elaborate service. Names had to be found before then.

Staci in Mombasa sporting her post cubs figure in a bikini....

The candles glowed on the dining table at Bertram Baboon’s home. The baboon director sat at the head of the table, his wife, Gloria Chimpo Baboon, to his side. Betty Chimpo, Lachlan and I were also seated at the oval, polished mahogany table. Bertram has an incredible eye for detail being a film director. He cut the blessing short and turned his attention to Betty who looked stunning.

“Betts, you seem to have added a bit of lushness to your lips,” he observed.

We all looked and sure enough, Betty’s usually thin chimpanzee lips were actually looking plump. When Todd Tigeres had made Betty over several years before, he had retained the prognathism, thin lips and nose that are indicative of the species.

“Todd gave me a little help with those but if I don’t like them, it will wear off after several months…….but I think I like it,” said Betty, tapping a crimson nailed finger to her lips and smiling slightly.

“They are lovely, Betts. You are looking marvelous these days – so much better than when you were seeing that obnoxious son of Shane’s,” added her sister, Gloria.

The small auditorium that would be replaced very soon by a new building was filled with those invited to attend the confirmation service for the chancellor and vice chancellor of Kenya University in the Masai Mara. As head of the department of journalism, Betty Chimpo was to be seated on the dais with the bigwigs including President Shane Simba. Shane stood chatting with Homer Leo and his nephew, Dr. Terry Simba. Betty quietly slipped past the chatting males and made her way to her appointed seat on the dais. The guest filled the audience and it was time for the service to begin.

Shane at the confirmation ceremony. Terry Simba sits behind him....

The service was elegant and moving, Shane saying the words to invest his chosen in their respective offices of the University. After the ceremony, those on the dais followed the President out of the building. There was to be a reception in the mansion. Betty was heading for her car after congratulating Terry and Homer. A hand held her back.

“Betty, ride with me to the mansion. You look lovely and I haven’t gotten a chance to congratulate you on your new post here,” said Shane Simba.

Betty recouped quickly from one of those strange sinking spells that always overcame her whenever her ex-husband was around.

“I have my car here……”

“My driver will take you back to your car. Let’s ride together,” he said, repeating his invitation.

Once inside, he was very pleasant and warm, not mentioning Sean or other matters of discord. He was enthusiastic about her new teaching and department posts and listened raptly, while she related her plans. She tried to keep her trembles under control and realized it was easier than it had once been. The official limousine pulled into the mansion’s drive, followed by other cars. A guard held the door for Betty and then she was in the entrance hall being greeted by Alexandra Simba with genuine warmth. Betty headed for the bar, asked for a martini and fished a cigarette from her purse. A lighter flicked. She looked into the handsome face of Dickey Simba.

Betty relaxed and chatted with those at the reception, including Lewis and Ralph Lyon, Homer Leo and Terry Simba. Finally, she went to the front porch of the mansion to seek a driver who would return her to the university campus and her car as promised.

“Betty, I’ll take you to the campus to get your car if you will have lunch with me at OKAPI’S first,” offered Dickey Simba.

“That’s an offer I can’t refuse, Dickey,” she laughed.

Caitlin Cougar surveyed the home she had been leasing to Sean Simba since moving with Chris Simba to the Serengeti. It was freshly painted and devoid of furnishings. She and Chris were staying at the Four Seasons Hotel in the Mara while the decorator was helping pull things back together. Chris had returned to the Nathan Leoparde Memorial Foundation where his job description had broadened in depth and salary. He was now CEO of the memorial foundation set up by Sylvia Leoparde Cougar for her long deceased father. He had been the executive director but now the foundation was no longer non-profit and Chris was the CEO with Sylvia heading the board of directors.

Caitlin Cougar....

Caitlin left the house and went for her appointment at the Tigeres-Lyon Clinic. She was pregnant and due for a sonogram.

It was after one o’clock before Dickey and Betty managed to get to OKAPI’S for a late lunch. The couple managed to get a quiet corner table and ordered drinks.

“You must be on good terms with Shane to be offered a ride in the divine one’s vehicle,” chuckled Dickey, lighting their cigarettes.

“Yes, we seem to be okay these days….well, I did take his son to bed. You probably already know this. I wasn’t terribly subtle.”

“Subtlety pays, Betty. I have terrible habits, among them hashish and whore mongering but I operate behind lock and key.”

Betty was disturbed that this declaration stung her rather badly. She was determined to keep a cool head and this lion had offered nothing but coffee, friendship, dinner – and now lunch. He knew she was single so if he had wanted to make a move or hit on her, it would have been quite simple. Nevertheless, he hadn’t done so. Dickey ordered more drinks. When they came, Betty took a drink, lit a cigarette and attempted to calm that still niggling feeling of disappointment that just wouldn’t take a powder. Another long sip helped put things in proportion. Dickey Simba was a windfall reaching toward her in camaraderie with no sexual strings attached. Damn, why wasn’t she happy about this fact? Get a grip, Betty Chimpo, her inner voice screamed loutishly. She jumped slightly. Dickey was talking to her.

“Bon Appetit….enjoy your meal,” he said. Their entrée had arrived.

Dickey and Betty in OKAPI'S...

Chloe Cougar took a deep draw on the hash filled bong that Dickey Simba held for her. They were naked and sprawled in tandem on his oversized cushy couch.

“This is some great stuff, Dickey,” remarked Chloe. “Where did it come from?”

“I have secret friends in Holland who make sure I get it each week. How was your parent’s Christmas bash?”

“Pretty cool as always, why wouldn’t you go with me? I invited you,” pouted the spoiled actress.

“I had to eat dinner with my flaky mother – no one else will. I don’t like big holiday bashes at any rate,” he said, stroking the silken fur on her thigh. .”I have to make sure Mom doesn’t get so drunk she falls out of her trailer.”

“Marry me, Dickey; we can build a house for your mother. I’m rich,” purred Chloe stroking his erect willie.

“She wouldn’t live in it so saying I built her a mansion. She won’t even move to the houses in the pride vacated by my aunts.”

He spread her legs and got on top of her.

“I said to marry me….I meant it,” she gasped, purring.

“Never….never, Chloe…I will never marry you,” he said, placing her legs on each shoulder.

“Good enough to bone but not to marry?” she snarled.

“Precisely,” he said pushing into her.

the frustrated Caroline Cheetah...

Caroline Cheetah paced restlessly to and fro in her apartment. Her small cub, Cindy Simba was with her dad and her son, Sunny was spending the night with a school pal. She dialed Dickey Simba’s cell phone (the only number he would give out). The voice mail was on. Damn him, she had been with him just last night. He had said he would call the next evening. This was the next evening and he hadn’t rung her phone. She went to the bar in her dining room and made another drink.