I asked Ralph for some time off during the holidays.  He graciously told me to work only light days until Christmas.  I spent a long weekend in Mombasa with Lachlan.  He has a new sailboat in addition to his rather peculiar pearling boat.  We took long sails, mooring at accessible islands and lunching from picnic baskets well stocked with delicacies and good wines.  We fished from the pearl boat, something I have become adept at, and grilled our catch at Lachlan’s home.  Since we are next door to each other, we either spent the nights in his home or mine.  It was an idyllic time and I rejoiced in the fact that Lachlan was not likely to take an abrupt swim upstream and make my life miserable as Lawrence had on so many occasions.  Lachlan is the kindest and gentlest of souls.  I know those are strange terms to use in conjunction with a male lion but it can’t be described differently.  It would be an anathema to him to hurt someone he loved.  He gave me a gold chain of some length.  On it was attached half of a golden heart.  He wore the other half. 

“I know this is very corny, Maurice,” he said, upon presenting it in a beautifully wrapped gift box.  “But sometimes hackneyed sentiment says it all and works better than anything else.”

“I simply adore it,” I told him as I placed it around my neck. 

Lachlan during the weekend in Mombasa....

            Mayor Leah Lyon called Charlotte Elephanti and her herd to an evening ceremony of lighting the beautiful tree they had adorned so successfully.  The impala herd’s youngsters caroled as did Gerald Giraffe.  There was a large crowd to partake of the grog passed about in paper cups.  It was Leah’s first official function as mayor.  She looked adorable and slipped into her official role as if she had always worn it. 

Gerald Giraffe sings Silent Night at the Christmas ceremonies in the main square.....

            It didn’t take but one slight hint from Leah’s father, Roy Lee Simba, that her husband might want to join him in biking before the daredevil Ashley Lyon had taken the challenge one step further.   Ashley bought a dirt bike and added that mania to his long list of perilous sports.   He bought his son, Arlon, a bike and the young lion cub that was soon to attend college in England, found it as fascinating as his father.  Arlon and Ashley could be seen riding across the savanna with Roy Lee Simba.  Of course, one can not mention daring sports in this family without Leah joining the skirmish.  She purchased her own and could soon be seen with the rest, barreling across the bush and jumping her bike as high in the air as her husband and stepson.   Soon, Luke Leoparde added his biking abilities to the assembly.

Ashley Lyon on his new dirt bike....  

            Betty Simba became, if not remarkable, at least proficient at tennis.   Shane would lower his standards to play a set with his wife.  He would lessen the intensity of his usual cut throat style and allow Betty to win a set from time to time. 

“Twenty love,” he would shout across the net at the end of a set.  “And love you too, Fifi.”

Shane Simba at his fast paced game of tennis....

There was no way that Betty, with her made over body, could top the athletic abilities of Shane’s late cheetah wife or him.  Chimpanzees are remarkably athletic animals in their natural state but Betty had opted for almost human beauty.  The adroit and skilled body of the chimp was lost in the process of excessive cosmetic surgery.  Betty didn’t mind.  In her natural state she would have never attracted and married Shane Simba.  And for Betty, that was what it was all about.  Whatever sacrifice finally gained the place she had dreamed of for so long – Mrs. Shane Simba- was worth it all.  Betty still marveled at the fact that, far from growing bored with her recently acquired husband, she grew even more rapturous about him as time passed.  The couple had managed to shape a sound family group out of mayhem.  Sam Simba was abiding by the court ordered every other weekend for her visits from Jason and Joshua, their sons.  He had agreed to let them visit Betty early in the Christmas holidays so she and Shane could take his children and her oldest son, Arlon, to England for Christmas.  They were to stay for a State visit and see Arlon to his university.  

            Sylvia and Bernard Cougar, recently retired, headed for their mountain home in Montana.  Their other offspring would follow but Lucy Cougar Simba was the one who accompanied her parents on their initial trip.  Bernard wanted to indulge in the winter sports he had always enjoyed growing up in that area.  Lucy, pregnant and separated from Alexander Simba, took their cub James and enjoyed the luxuries of a flight on the Leoparde family jet.  She came immediately under the care of a Montana veterinarian recommended by her sister, Dr. Sylly Cougar.   Lyon.  Sylvia and Bernard invited Lachlan and me, as well as Bertram Baboon, to join them in Montana but we had to decline.  Bertram will be busy preparing his direction of the new film, The Paradine Case and Lachlan can’t leave the area.  Being a psychiatrist and head of the mental health center, he realizes that the holidays are hard on the already troubled.   I won’t leave him for I believe I grow to love him more each day of my life.                  

            OKAPI’S was crowded at the lunch hour.  It was already decorated with a delightfully adorned ceiling high Christmas tree.  Bertram inquired of Ossie about the nature of the tree. 

“It’s a Frazer Pine,” he answered haughtily.  “They are traditional among my herd.”

Bertram snapped on a buttered radish, waiting for Ossie to get out of hearing range before saying, “I had no idea that Frazer Pines were a favored article among the okapi herds of Kenya.  He has become appallingly full of himself.”           

Betty Simba joined us looking as glowing as usual. 

“Do tell us, Betts; is life with the vice lion king still as thrilling as ever?”  Asked Bertram, snapping his fingers for more drinks. 

“It only gets better, Bertram,” she almost gushed. 

“Perhaps Caroline Cheetah will drop off the planet and you can take on her cub that she keeps writing about in her lewd articles for Animal Enquirer.”

I kicked Bertram very hard under the table for bringing that up.  He made a face and screeched “OUCH!!”  Ossie peered in our direction, expecting trouble but his expectations were dashed very quickly.  Betty is so damn happy you can’t rile her any longer.  She merely beamed and acknowledged that might be a possibility. 

“You two seem so devilishly happy with your lions I should maybe try one,” said Bertram. “Are there any more gay ones about, Maurice?”

“There is Jean Pierre de Leon that is in the ballet troop at the arts center,” I giggled.  “He is quite the pouf.”

“I don’t enjoy the truly Nelly,” he admonished. 

“There are plenty of gay male lions at Montecore’s Disco any given weekend,” I advised. 

“Oh dear God, they’re from the Serengeti and still eating wildebeest and monkeys for snacks.”

“Maybe Shane has a gay relative,” chuckled Betty. 

“I do believe the testosterone levels in the Simba males preclude any homosexuality, Betts, but thanks all the same.  I really wouldn’t know how to deal with a male lion if I got one in the bed.  I’m sure it’s just too much of a good thing,” said Bertram. 

Betty and I giggled at that statement.  We both knew better. 

            Alexander Simba passed frantically between bouts of sexual stimulation during the parties at the house he rented with his brother Sidney and long stretches of depression where he missed his young son, James and his wife, Lucy Cougar Simba.  Lucy had changed the locks on their house at 47 Lyon Avenue before she joined her parents in Montana.  Sloane Simba, enduring another rough stretch with his recent bride, Caitlin Cougar, was working very hard at the Simba Brothers law firm.  The cases were backed up.  Steven Simba, who was attempting to clean up his act and make an impression on fellow attorney, Cameron Caracal, was putting his nose to the grindstone as well.   All, but Sloane, were still persona non grata at the home of their mother, Leander, who had caught them flagrante delicto at the Simba Fuck Farm.    

            Cameron Caracal continued to snub Steven Simba despite the fact of his having rented a condo very near hers and joining RUNNERS where she worked out diligently every evening after work.  Steven took on Gerald Giraffe as his personal trainer.  Gerald also trained Cameron.  One evening as Steven was pumping the ever increasing iron under Gerald’s trained eye, the giraffe let slip a bit of useful information.   

“Guess what, Big Boy?  Cynthia Cheetah and I have hired Cameron to teach a night class of aerobics for those who work,” chortled Gerald, holding his head low to catch the musky scent emanating from the hunky lion as he worked out.  Gerald gingerly placed a hoof on a bulging muscle rolling his eyes in pleasure.

“Where do I sign up?” roared Steven. 

“I’ll just put you on the list. It’s in my office.”

“Thanks a million, Gerald.  You are good friend.”

Gerald smiled; part of the enjoyment of his career was having these hunky males be indebted to him. 

            Lachlan and I accompanied Bertram Baboon to Montecore’s Disco one very festive night.  The white tiger had also gotten two huge Christmas trees erected in his establishment.  The spirit was high as is often the case in the holiday season.   We pointed out several male lions that were gay but not necessarily feminine.  Actually, I think it may be difficult for male lions to be ‘girlish’.  They have all that muscle, strut, mane and reek of haughtiness.  Lachlan is the only male lion I have ever encountered that totally lacked conceit.  In my eyes, he is nothing short of perfection. 

“Why don’t you dance with one, Bertram?” I asked, trying to push him a bit toward the main dance floor. 

One thing that Bertram is truly intractable about is being pushed into anything.  He reared back and stared at me with irritated and rather menacing eyes. 

“Dance with one of WHAT, Maurice?”

“One of those lions out there on the dance floor, isn’t that why we came?  To find you a lion?”

“You really took me seriously about that, didn’t you?” he screeched. 

“I always do, Bertram,” I answered, annoyance unchecked in my tone. 

Lachlan, sensing that we were about to have a spat, headed us toward one of the bars where we ordered much needed drinks.  Lachlan left for a while and returned with a male lion at his heels. 

“This is a boyhood friend of mine from Tsavo,” he said.  “Bertram and Maurice meet Harold.”

“Would you like to dance, Bertram?” inquired Harold, who was a handsome bugger. 

“Yes, I suppose so,” he said, following Harold to the floor. 

“I hope that wasn’t too obvious,” laughed Lachlan. 

“It was a bit, but no matter.  If it works it will be worth it,” I giggled. 

            Caroline Cheetah was truly showing a small ‘bump’ by now.  She had been relegated to a cooking show on WMM-TV and was rather enjoying it.  She was also bumping up the ratings.  She happily gadded about working with small flambeau dishes, concocting delicacies and dashing around the set in her maternity outfits.  When she would taste a particularly delicious dish she would run her paw down her belly in a sign of gastronomic approval.  Caroline’s Cooking became the Culinary Hour and a whopping success.  Housewives and those aficionados of cookery tuned in each morning and hung on Caroline’s every word and recipe.  The fan mail began to pour in. Irving Impala couldn’t believe his eyes and ears.  He was delighted with his formerly problematical employee.  He extended the show to two hours.  The rather unsavory female cheetah became the idol of many home makers who had no idea that she wrote licentious articles for Animal Enquirer under the pen name of Pearly Pussy.  They did seem to remember that she was pregnant by the vice president of Kenya but that could be forgiven for the sake of her marvelous recipes for Flamed Roast Chunks and Hot Okra and Crab Cake.  Irving raised her salary substantially.  She purchased a rocking crib for the nursery that would eventually hold Shane Simba’s son. 

            Christine Cheetah Mbube and her new husband, Micah, started the season off with a most elegant and wonderful party on Leoparde Drive where they had decided to stay in the house she got in her divorce from Chris Simba.  Everyone one was quite smashed and having an absolutely marvelous time when the front door was opened to let in Chelsea (Cheetah) and Clint Cougar.  They were accompanied by her sister, the gestating Caroline Cheetah.  She looked quite lovely and wore a black dress that outlined every curve of her maturing pregnancy.  Christine looked taken aback and tried to spot Betty Simba.  Shane saw Caroline first.   He was standing with a group that included his wife, Betty, Lachlan, Roy Lee, Bertram and me.  He pulled Betty closer to him, laying an arm across her shoulder.  We realized this gesture was a subtle closing of the ranks and a strong statement to Caroline not to approach.  To her credit, she saw the lethal look Shane threw her and chose to encounter a more receptive group.  Later, I invited Shane, Betty, Bertram and of course, Lachlan, to my place for after party night caps.  It was a beautiful night filled with stars and a soft fragrance from the day’s earlier rain on the flowers.  We were all feeling no pain so after getting our drinks and going to my back porch, I asked Bertram how he had fared with Harold the lion from Montecore’s. 

“I thought you’d never ask, Maury.  And please, no offense to present company, but I was scared to death of that lion in bed.  His teeth were the longest things I had ever seen up close and he actually roared at me,” related Bertram of that evening. 

Lachlan laughed first; followed by Shane Simba who I thought would bust a gut he laughed so long and hard. 

Caroline Cheetah at the party.....

            Unlike the Sloane Simba and Alexander Simba households, there is absolutely no friction in Chelsea and Clint Cougar’s home over the issued invitation for them to join the huge house party at Sylvia and Bernard’s home in Montana.  Clint, Bernard’s son by his first marriage, adores Sylvia and feels every bit as close to her as to his real mom.  Chelsea has visited Montana before marrying Clint.  She is looking forward to going the day after her pre-Christmas ballet, The Nutcracker, ends its run at the arts center.  Clint has promised Chelsea to teach her to snow ski. 

            Roy Lee Simba took his wife Chloe, their two youngest cubs, Tarek and Lucretia, and the two leopard actors to board the Leoparde family jet.  The group was going to Montana to join Chloe’s parents and younger sister.  Roy Lee was staying behind with their two oldest children, Lee and Troy, who preferred staying in the Mara with their school chums.  Lee has a crush on Arlon Lyon and was attending holiday parties with him.  Roy Lee happily settled down with his children, letting them do their thing as he did his.  Roy Lee’s ‘thing’ was getting together with his beloved Janice Jaguar. 

            Leah and Ashley Lyon have decided to spend the last two days of Betty and Shane’s visit to London with them.  Ashley wants to join Betty in seeing their son off to school.  Ashley and Leah will then go to Gstaad, Switzerland where he will introduce Leah to another sport he mastered.  At the time Betty and Ashley were in the throes of their divorce process, Ashley had taken them to Switzerland where failing to save the marriage, he managed to ace the sport of snow skiing. 

            Daniel Lyon has met one he feels could be a keeper in Stella Simba.  They are getting along famously.  Lachlan and I saw them at a party Janice Jaguar gave in the beautiful showroom and banquet area of JAGGERS.  Roy Lee was there and he and Janice made no bones about their love affair.  Daughters, Leah and Stella looked as happy clams over their parent’s renewal.  Daniel is making a great success of the Lyon & Associates law firm.  Ralph is very proud of his son by Maude.  Ashley and Lewis Lyon’s investment is paying off.