HITTING THE FAN
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Henry Fielding, Love in Several Masques
The explanation for the intense media scrutiny might be a combination of Kenya’s struggles of the past few months in addition to global interest in our hunky lion president, Shane Simba. Whatever the case may be, the pictures and ensuing article of Shane, the Spanish girl and Claire Cheetah were not merely confined to ANIMAL ENQUIRER, but went global. The London Mirror headlined: SEX SCANDAL HITS KENYA’S LION PRESIDENT.
It hit the fan on a Monday, rendering our State House staff almost numb – not that we didn’t know his propensities. I suppose it was the idea that the paparazzi could get that close in proximity to our leader and catch some photographs of great detail. Every whip handcuff and position was delineated in the lewd photographs. Fortunately major rags and tabloids shaded the genital areas of all concerned; nevertheless, even minus the hard porn, it was a sex scandal of major proportions.
“Well you’ve certainly aced the situation now, big boy,” seethed Alexandra Simba. “Any encores planned?”
“I didn’t mean this to happen, Alex,” explained Shane in one of his more adolescent statements.
“You didn’t mean to have your bloody picture taken is what you mean, Shane, of course you meant to do it.”
“I need for you to stay, Alex, or it will blow up in my face. We need to present a solid front as a couple.”
It seemed that Shane Simba could not make a statement that worked this morning. His every utterance was mind-boggling. Alexandra rose from the chair in his office and slung the drink he had poured for her directly in his face.
“You bloody bastard. I will present no solid front with you. I am returning to my plantations. We will work out visitation rights for the children.”
it seems the final break......
The Mara was atwitter as was all of Kenya. It was in every major newspaper, blog and tabloid in gritty detail. One tabloid in Nairobi ran the headline: OUR LEADER CAUGHT IN TRI-SPECIES GANG BANG. The pictures made a smooth transition to the internet. The more somber editorialists questioned his continuing presidency. This stuff was getting serious and our staff was tearing out our fur. Suddenly Vice President Daniel Lyon was taking up much of the slack and attending functions with his wife, Stella Simba Lyon. Shane kept a low profile, working in his office and in parliament to continue the work of our government.
Vice President Daniel Lyon and his spouse, Stella Simba Lyon take on more social duties
On a brighter note, Leah and Ashley Lyon’s adopted daughter who is full leopard, finished secretarial school in Nairobi and joined our staff at the State House as the main receptionist. Kitty Lyon is a bright and beautiful female. She took up residence again with her widowed mom in the house on Leoparde Drive.
Kitty Lyon, adopted leopard daughter of Ashley and Leah....
That weekend, Lachlan and I drove caravan style with Leah, her cubs with Jack and Kitty Lyon. When we pulled into our mutual driveway in Mombasa, Lachlan begged Leah to stay at our house instead of next door at the home she shared with her late husband and where they had spent so many happy hours as a couple.
“Thank you so much, Lach,” said Leah. “I must start somewhere getting used to life without Jack. This will be one of my first tests. I have got to face it.
“At least join us for drinks and dinner,” I insisted.
On Saturday morning early, Leah was on the beach with Kitty preparing Jack’s boat for departure to the fishing grounds we had discovered. I spotted mother and daughter and alerted Lachlan. We both hastened, steaming coffee in hand, to join her. She was delighted. I have to say that Leah is one of the most courageous females I have seen yet. You could see that this first fishing jaunt without Jack was painful to say the least. She kept a good face on things. Our catch was bountiful, Lachlan remarking that it was Jack’s spirit that had prompted the angler’s reward.
It wasn’t until later, grilling the fish on charcoal, that Leah’s mood turned tearful. However, that was not as awful as it could have been. For some reason, Rory Lion had managed to surprise us with an unaccustomed visit to our waterfront digs. He was there when Leah broke into sobs and had to be led by him to her home where he stayed for several hours comforting the lovely widow.
On a depressing evening of having fought the presidential scandal all day, Dickey Simba decided to go to Simba’s Bistro for dinner. There was a slight wait for a table and he was told to pass the time in the bar. There he found Claire Cheetah disconsolately nursing a martini.
“You are very photogenic, especially your ass,” commented Dickey who recognized the third participant in Shane's lewd threesome from the photos spread throughout the global media.
“And you are one rude motherfucker,” she snarled. “Who the hell are you?”
“We’ve met before but you wouldn’t have noticed me, your being blown out of the water by my half-brother at the time. That language is awfully out of place for a university professor,” he chuckled.
“I got fired this morning by that damn Terry Simba. It sucked…he has no right,” she growled.
“He has every right,” argued Dickey who was enjoying every minute of this repartee. “You are supposed to be a good role model for the young and since it is rather unacceptable to engage in sexual threesomes using sado-masochistic paraphernalia, I suppose Terry felt you were a bit remiss.”
Claire changed course abruptly even surprising her conversational partner.
“You have plans for later or would you like to come to my villa for more drinks? We can order take out from here,” she purred.
“That might be interesting except for the fact that I don’t want Shane on my ass for being with his current tart.”
“He is staying away from me because of the scandal,” she pouted.
“Oh, so that’s going to make it go all away,” laughed Dickey. “I didn’t know my boss and your lover was so freaking naïve.”
“You joining me or are you just going to debate the merits all night?” said Claire, clearing the tab on her drinks.
“I’ll bite; lead me to your lair.”
They were no sooner in the front door of the luxury villa than Claire put a leg around Dickey’s and kissed him hard.
“Come with me,” she breathed, leading him to a moonlit bedroom whose doors opened on a patio of exquisite workmanship.
She opened the French doors allowing a view of the darkened savanna and star laden sky. She opened a cabinet and brought out a bong a bit smaller than the one Dickey owned. She filled it with hashish, lit it and handed it to him. He inhaled, keeping the smoke in his lungs as long as possible. Exhaling, he drew her to him and began to undress her.
“I’ll bet you don’t object to all my toys now, do you?” she purred as she licked his throat.
“No indeed, I think you may prove to be a worthwhile way to spend my evening,” he said, tearing her lace pants completely off her.
“You’re a real dick,” she said, as she unbuckled his belt and pulled his slacks to the floor.
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Claire,” he growled, pulling her toward the massive bed and pushing her onto it.
He didn’t leave until an early rooster sounded an untimely alarm somewhere in the bush. He checked his watch, rose from the bed and gathered his clothes.
“We have to meet again sometime,” purred Claire from the depths of her silk sheets.
“Just like this,” agreed Dickey.
He blew her a kiss and was gone.
Claire leads Dickey to her home.....
Shane Simba made a high profile public appearance with his twins by Alexandra as well as his small grandcub, Cindy Lyon. The group attended a fair in Nairobi. The crowd that surrounded them was warm and accepting. Shane played the good daddy and grandpa, giving all the kids ice cream cones and making a show of doing everything that they fancied. He rode a Ferris wheel, a plastic hippo stuck on a merry-go-round and posed for copious pictures with his assembled group of young. The paparazzi had a field day. They had never seen Shane Simba so eager to allow photo-ops.
Shane heists grandcub, Cathy Lyon, on his shoulders for a photo op...
Betty Chimpo lectures to one of her classes at the university....
Betty Chimpo, having of times been careless with her personal behavior, was a stickler for her work ethic. She was growing in esteem at Kenya University where she headed the creative writing department. The chancellor, Terry Simba continued to add more classes to her schedule for the coming quarter. She enjoyed lecturing to her students, having found solace from the reality of her rather lonely existence. One big plus in her personal life was the fact that she and Shane had moved past their contentious relationship and were now very firm friends. Shane invited her to the mansion for the dinner he held for their son, Solly Simba, who was soon going to England for his enrollment in an intellectual boarding school. Three of his siblings were already there in universities. Solly would not be lonely. It was thought that with his advanced intellect, he would begin his university studies earlier than usual.
Driving home from dinner at the mansion, her cell phone rang. She answered.
“Betty, why don’t you come to my place? Tomorrow is Saturday and you can spend the night with me,” invited Dickey Simba.
“I had planned to give Leah some of the plants from my yard tomorrow. She’s been admiring them for ages,” countered Betty who wanted to be with Dickey but dreaded further disappointment.
“I’ll give you a better idea, why don’t I join you at your place and we’ll have drinks with Leah. Or am I being entirely too out of character for your tastes?”
“That means you spend the night with me instead,” she giggled in spite of herself.
“We’ve just made a plan. I’ll be there in a few.”
“I’m just pulling into my drive. I’ve been at a dinner for my son, Solly, at the mansion. He’s going to England very soon now.”
Babs, the housekeeper, was going to her quarters after having built a fire in Betty’s library. She got a chilled bottle of chardonnay from the fridge, placed it in an ice filled container and brought it to the library. She bid her boss and friend good night.
Dickey was settled in front of the fireplace, kicked back enjoying his wine. His arm draped around Betty’s shoulders on the comfy couch.
“This is not your usual scene for Saturday, is it?” teased Betty. “I’m sure the exchange of zinnias is not the way you usually spend an off day.”
He kissed the top of her head. “No but it will be different. I sort of like the idea of domestic normality.”
“My goodness, what brought this on?” she laughed.
“You…just you.”
They spent a tender night of lovemaking before finally getting a few winks and facing the dazzling morning. Leah was there bright and early but nothing dimmed the good spirits of the couple although lacking sleep.
“I didn’t expect to see you, Uncle Dickey,” said Leah as she sat down with a deliciously red and spicy Bloody Mary concocted by Dickey.
Betty smiled but allowed Dickey his own explanations.
“Betty is teaching me many valuable lessons,” he said, lighting a Marlboro.
“She’s a good one to do that,” stated Leah. “She’s the one that found my Jack and brought him back to Kenya.”
“Such a wonderful lion,” murmured Betty. “And you gave him what he wanted most….happiness and children.”
Later I joined them with geraniums from our greenhouse. I enjoyed a Bloody Mary as Lachlan worked in his restaurant providing new recipes for the chefs. It was a laid back day and I was amazed at the grace and ease of the elegant Dickey. I worked with him each day at the State House but had never really known him in other circumstances. He wore impeccably pressed jeans and a white linen shirt with no belt. His feet were contained in Manolo Blahnik loafers with no socks. He was a handsome chap and probably knew it but Betty seemed very relaxed. This was one guy she hadn’t cried on anyone’s shoulder about and I felt he was very special to her.