Maurice & Friends

Shane Simba pressed the flesh as he retraced his steps in a manic campaign effort. The charismatic young lion was gaining ground among the people of Kenya. He already had the animal vote. Betty was with him every step of the way although at one point she had to spend the day in the train car having fallen prey to a head cold. I would join him on occasion but Ralph had so many details for me to attend for him. We had to put together the massive volumes of his deeds and memorabilia as President to be preserved in a library that was to bear his name in Nairobi.

I had a very pleasant happening in my immediate family. My sister, Margaux Monkee Tigeres gave birth to a male macaque. She has been long married to the wonderful brother of Dr. Frank Tigeres. Margaux’s husband, Tony Tigeres, owns the night club in the Mara called Tony’s Discothèque. He is the only Tigeres brother that didn’t go into medicine. He is a kind and loving husband to my sister and I am very fond of him. She gave birth to two tiger cubs using the French Procedure in her last pregnancy. I found my tiger nephews too rambunctious to get very close to. My sister, who is a brave soul, dealt with them valiantly and well aided by her very caring husband. They are now devoted and loving sons who will be attending college and eventually medical school this year, being the same age as Arlon Lyon. This time, Tony suggested she have one of her own kind. It was born this week and named for me in part. Terrence Maurice Tigeres is an adorable chap - just the right size for his uncle and mother. His father is a bit afraid to handle him due to his great tiger size. It is a problem that Margaux feels will work itself out very soon. I stood at the altar of The First Church of the Ascending Predator to partake in young Terrence’s baptismal. I also happen to be one of his Godfathers. The other is my mother’s aging companion, Luther deSimien who is so deaf now that he didn’t hear Dr. Saul Serval when he addressed him in the service. My mother, Sophie Leila Monkee, is much happier about the small macaque than she was with her tiger grandsons. Not understanding the ramifications of the French Procedure practiced at the clinic, she continually asks me who Margaux had an affair with and where did one find our kind of macaque in Kenya. Mother doesn’t mind the association that Margaux made with the Tigeres clan. Dr. Todd Tigeres has put so much Botox in our mum that her face is entirely immobilized. He has also done a few other procedures through the years which make her countenance look like a snugly fitted rubber sheet. Mother’s face is no longer a match with her irritable dialogue. She did have the after baptismal reception at her home near the river. I attended with Lachlan. Mother pulled me aside while Lachlan conversed with a patient of his.

“Maurice, don’t you think a lion is a little large for you to handle?” she asked, taking a dainty sip of brandy. “A leopard was bad enough.”

“Mother, please leave the finer points of my lover’s size to my discretion if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t be fresh, Maurice. I mentioned it because I do care,” she snapped, her face registering absolutely nothing, frozen in its immovable skin casing. "I don't want you to be mauled."

"Mauling is not really the name of the game, Mother."

“At least the leopard was rich.”

She wouldn’t have been Mother if she didn’t add that barbed morsel. I took no note and went to speak to Frank and Melba Tigeres.

Me with young Terrence Maurice Tigerres, my nephew....

Caroline Cheetah was not pleased. She was a failure at applying the proper tears to the fabric of Shane and Betty’s marriage. They clearly had moved beyond her seduction and ensuing pregnancy. Their body language was instantly recognizable in all the pictures on the campaign trail. This couple exuded affection and devotion in every photograph. Caroline smoked incessantly and tended her son with less enthusiasm. He had not had the impact she had intended. She studied brochures and wrote resumes to New York City businesses where she wished to work. Tiny Shane spent a great deal of time in the office of his grandmother, Cynthia Cheetah at RUNNERS. He was a good cub, giving little trouble and sleeping soundly when fed. Cynthia and Dorian’s heart bled for the little chap. He spent many a night at their home, his mother having gone off to party with the males at the Simba Fuck Farm. When their daughter, Cassandra and her husband, Sefu Simba came for the weekend with their children tiny Shane, Jr. was stuck at their crowded condo.

“Is this Shane’s son, Cyn?” asked Sefu.

“Yes, Sef, a DNA test proved it. He pays support but has never seen him.”

Sefu picked the small cub from the crib and held him for a few minutes. “Where is Caroline?”

“She parties all the time. The baby stays most days and nights with us. Caroline is either doing her cooking show or engaged in one only knows what!”

Sefu took the chance on calling Shane’s cell phone, knowing that he was probably on the campaign trail. Betty answered his phone saying that he was catching some much needed shut eye before going to make a speech. They were in the Turkana district.

“Betty, I know I should probably not bring this subject up with you but Caroline Cheetah is ignoring Shane’s little cub. She is on the party circuit again. Cynthia and Dorian keep him most of the time now. They love him but really don’t have that much energy after a hard day running their fitness center. They’re getting older as you know.”

“Oh my god, Sef, I love that little cub. She sent us pictures. He is so sweet. I wish we could take him.”

“Let me get back to you, Betty. I hear Shane hasn’t seen him. Maybe it’s you who needs to address this issue.”

“Shane has turned his face for the moment but he does have a lot on his plate with the presidential race.”

She gave Sefu her cell phone number. He said he would see what he could do about the matter and get back to her. After her conversation with her brother-in-law, she took one of the pictures that she had secreted in her brief case and studied the little lion face. She put it gently back and went to wake Shane for his speech.

Shane and Betty made their way to Wajir and Garissa, towns in the inland eastern half of Kenya. With the improvements made during Ralph Lyon’s presidency, the rails now formed a network that encompassed most of the non-mountainous areas of our country. Shane and Betty were able to take the luxurious presidential cars and go by train. Wajir is a Muslim town being very near our border with Somalia. The couple visited bomas (farms) and the community that was still recovering from past droughts. Then it was on to Garissa and more of the same. Shane, long devoted to chic clothing, cast it off and continued the tour in shirts and jeans. He spoke to a rally there while Betty visited a children’s center and orphanage. The Kenyan symbolic flag of Harambee (meaning pulling together) was flown in each town as the second lion made his bid for the presidency. The Harambee shows two lions flanking a shield with the Kenyan flag. For the politicking couple there was no longer sessions of heavy lovemaking during the night. Both Shane and Betty were suffering from weariness. Shane fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow as did Betty who seemed to have overcome her chronic insomnia during her husband’s campaign. Betty didn’t mention Caroline Cheetah’s cub to him. She feared he would be extremely agitated at this point in time. She made a mental note to address the issue after everything was said and done and he was either the president or not. Shane was already worried that humans might take over Kenya once more since he had insisted on campaigning instead of being appointed to follow Ralph. Betty was so busy disavowing him of this notion she didn’t have the heart to bring up more nettlesome subjects.

Shane and Betty campaigning in Wajiri and Garassi....

Caroline Cheetah left her son with her parents more often now. She had discovered the joys of pot and cocaine in the company of Sidney Simba. Irving Impala called her on the carpet for what he felt was her haggard appearance in addition to a bit of incoherence during her cooking show. She burned herself on one segment crying “Shit!” in a loud snarl. One weekend, she was busted along with Sidney when they drove into the bush to purchase more drugs from the disreputable leopard that dealt there. They were just leaving his tree where he dispensed his goods when one of Bubba Simba’s police officers chased them down and hauled them to jail. The headlines that raged the following day had nothing to do with Shane and Betty Simba. The Masai Mara Daily had on its front page: LAWYER AND COOKING SHOW HOSTESS BUSTED FOR DRUGS. WMM-TV had a full twenty minutes on their newscast. Irving Impala canceled Caroline’s cooking show for the time being. Sidney Simba got his license to practice law revoked for two years. Both were sentenced to six weeks in drug rehabilitation at the mental health center by Judge Bo Bonobo.

“Thanks a fucking million,” raged Shane Simba in a call placed to Simba Brothers & Associates. Steven had the disadvantage of taking the call from his half-brother. “Can’t that bastard keep his nose clean until I win the election? There’s a lot at stake here. If the humans take Kenya back we’ll be sucking wind.”

“He’s in rehab, Shane. Judge Bonobo sent him there.”

“All you sons of Aunt Leander need to go there, dammit!” he raged. “Simba Brothers is going to be trashed thanks to your group.”

“Hey, give it a break, Shane. Alex, Sloane and I aren’t on drugs and causing headlines. We’re working our asses off.”

“You need to close that fucking house in the bush, Steven.”

“Only Sidney lives there. Sloane is staying with him until Caitlin comes home,” protested Steven. “I moved to the Salt Lick Condos.”

When Steven had dispensed with the infuriated call, Sloane stuck his head in the door.

“What was that about, Steve?” he asked.

“The pot calling the kettle black in my estimation,” snarled Steven.

Chief Magistrate Sefu Simba read the headlines with horror. He deemed Caroline Cheetah an unfit mother and issued a court order taking small Shane Simba, Jr. away from her and placing him with his grandparents for the moment. He placed a call to Betty who had seen the headlines.

“Betty, Shane, Jr. has been placed with Dorian and Cynthia for the time being. Did Shane take it all in?” asked Sefu.

“Shane is enraged over Sidney’s bust. He is stressed to the max. I don’t even think he has realized that the bust involved Caroline too.”

“He needs to get his head out of the sand, Betty. I guess he can deal with that after he’s elected.”

And then it was election night. We all gathered at the presidential mansion with Ralph and Mildred. They had invited Lachlan too. Shane and Betty came with Arlon, Staci and young Sean Simba. Ashley and Leah were there. Shane seemed tense but relaxed after Ralph plied him multiple Scotches. When Ralph asked Shane if he wanted his mother present, he declined. Shane Simba was no mama’s boy. After Betty had made her overtures to Sarah Lee Simba at one of her Sunday brunches after Shane’s plane crash, she had not spoken with her again, despite Betty’s reaching out to her. Shane resented this. So Sarah Lee huddled with her stressed sister, Leander, to watch the returns on WMM-TV at Sam Simba’s house. Later, Roy Lee and Janice joined the group.

As the night progressed we realized that Shane was probably winning by a landslide. The media hovered on the State House grounds. He and Ralph watched ecstatically as the different polls closed and were recorded. At midnight it was a given. Shane Simba was the new President of Kenya. We all went to the State House where Ralph let the reporters in and gave them coffee laced with brandy. The main meeting room was pandemonium. Ralph quieted them.

“Today my wish came true for Kenya. That it should be governed by someone I trust and know will do the right thing always for our country,” he roared to the assembled group.

Shane came to the podium and in a gracious move announced Charley Lyon as his choice for vice president of Kenya. I could see Ralph and Mildred were moved by this gesture to their youngest son. Charley had run against Shane, smearing his name as often as possible. Now Shane Simba wanted healing to take place. A call was placed to Charley, who after a stunned moment, accepted. I think Betty was in shock. She was now thrust into a role as consort to the highest ranking male in Kenya. She had campaigned with him but it wasn’t until the moment of his win that she realized what this would entail.

“Maurice, will he ever really be mine again?” she asked, grabbing my hand.

“Yours and Kenya’s,” I answered with welling eyes. “Things will change, Betts. He is the ultimate power in our country now.”

“If you ever need a bit of very private counseling, Betty, I will be glad to come to you,” offered Lachlan.

The relief could be seen in Shane’s eyes. Charley Lyon arrived and threw his arms about the neck of the lion he had attacked while stumping. It was an emotional night - the end of one era and the beginning of another. As the sun peeked over the horizon, Chief of Police, Bubba Simba, with tears in his eyes, arrived to escort his younger brother to his home, a symbolic gesture. Bubba’s squad car led Shane’s car containing his wife and children to their home on Leoparde Drive where the President-Elect and family would reside until January of the New Year when the inauguration would take place.

The Masai Mara and Kenya in general, went wild at the news that Shane Simba had won the election. Animals and people, alike, had dreaded the prospect of another human leader taking Kenya down the path of destruction as so many had done in the past. This was an era of prosperity and fair government that had been brought about by Ralph Lyon. Kenya knew that under Shane this would continue. There was dancing in the streets of the Mara and also Nairobi when his win was announced.

The night after the election, Shane and Betty spent a quiet evening at home with Arlon, Staci and Sean. He had gone to Nairobi that day to speak to Parliament with Betty by his side. Now embers glowed in the fireplace in the library. The children had repaired to Arlon’s room of video gaming delights after a lively family debate at the supper table. Betty and Shane were having cognac. He lit a cigarette. His head was cradled in Betty’s lap on the couch.

“Okay, Fifi, you can hit me with all those topics I didn’t have the patience for during the campaign.”

“Shane, your son has been taken away from Caroline by Sefu in a court judgment. She was busted for drugs along with Sidney. She had already left him with Dorian and Cynthia because she was on the party circuit before that.”

“What would you have me do about it, Betty? Caroline is no reasonable creature to deal with. If we go to his rescue we will inevitably involve her in our lives.”

“Your son is the most important of those issues. He's a small cub that needs a chance in life. Can we keep him part of the time, please, Shane?”

“Betty, what is it that you think you want with him? He could easily look like a cheetah very soon.”

“Staci looks like a cheetah and I love her deeply. He is yours Shane. I want your children under our roof.”

“Staci is Catherine’s. You never hated her.”

“I disliked Catherine much more than Caroline. Catherine was the one that had you in marriage and your children. I was insanely jealous of her. You didn’t even like Caroline. I just want your children with you and me, Shane. I don’t care if they look like cheetahs or lions. I love them because they’re yours.”

“Wow!” was all he said for the time being.

Upstairs in their bedroom he told her to contact Sefu and see what could be done.

“You know, Fifi, if you and I get attached to this little cub and she gets him back it will only be heartbreak.”

“Oh darling, I’m willing to take the chance. I have bad vibes about Caroline Cheetah’s motives for having him. She is not going to make a good mother.”

Sefu Simba changed the court order and sent Shane Simba, Jr. to his father’s care giving full visiting rights to Dorian and Cynthia. He had discussed this with them first. They wanted the little cub to get to know his father, realizing that their daughter was going down the primrose path in a mighty hurry. Betty picked the tiny cub up from his usual daytime place in Cynthia’s office at RUNNERS. When she first picked Shane’s son from his basket she held him close.

“Dorian and I know you will give him the same love as you have Staci and Sean. We are so pleased about this, Betty.”

She arrived home with him among the welcoming arms of Miss B and Babs. Later Staci, Arlon and Sean, who had been to McDonalds, came home. They went immediately to the study where Betty had him, after a bottle, in a small rocking crib she had purchased from Lyon’s Fine Furnishings. Staci held him as did Arlon. Sean took a quick turn but lost interest. The hours passed with his brothers, sister, stepmother and nannies doting on him. Then it was the hour when Shane was due from the State House. They heard his car in the drive. He came in the front door to be met by a beaming Staci who led him to the study and the son he had never seen. Betty jumped up to give him a kiss. He looked down on the small cub whose eyes were open.

“Shane, he has the color of your eyes, darling,” said Betty.

Shane picked the small cub up in his blanket and took him to the library where a fire had been lit. He was followed by his anxious family who were simply dying to witness his response to Shane, Jr. It didn’t take long to realize that Shane Simba, new president-elect of Kenya, was taken with his newest son.

“Shall we keep him?” laughed Shane.

“Oh yes, Daddy. Oh yes, let’s do,” shouted Staci.

“You all do know that he can be taken away at the drop of a hat, don’t you?” asked Shane.

The practical chord of the evening was struck by Arlon Lyon who said:

“How, Shane? You are the new president and your brother is the chief judge of Kenya. You hold all the cards.”

“Spoken like a future politician and lawyer,” laughed Shane, slapping his stepson on the back.

Shane Simba, Jr. instantly became a much loved member of his father’s household. Since there was already a Shane in the house, it was decided that he needed a nickname. Shane, Sr. detested the name ‘Junior’. The name that took was applied the first time by Staci who called him Sunny due to his wonderful disposition. It stuck and morphed into being spelled as “Sonny”.