FAMILY TIES.....
Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Author Unknown
Sunday, January 28, 2007
The matter of Goosey Simba and her druthers continued to hang over the pride. She had invited Roy Lee to dine among the debris in her trailer. Buckets of Kentucky Fried Chicken were on the chrome and vinyl dining table. French fries fell messily from a cracked dish. The slaw sat unattractively in a plastic bowl. Roy Lee didn’t take his wife, Janice, telling her that he didn’t want to subject her to the unsanitary digs of his least favorite pride member. The upshot of the, for Roy Lee, painful evening was the news that two of Goosey’s sons had graduated and were bringing their European lives to a close in order to get back to Kenya and pride business. After all, they had grown fond of the gratuities garnered from having a wealthy pride backing them.
The next evening the Simba Pride Corporation board met at the elegant home of Roy Lee and Janice.
“Have you gotten the Goosey’s revenge from eating in her filthy kitchen?” asked Shane of Roy Lee.
“It was pretty rough eating. All cigarette ashes spilled in the slaw and French fries,” laughed Roy Lee.
“It’s a wonder you aren't stricken with a rousing case of botulism.”
I must back track, as is sometimes my habit. I have mentioned Kentucky Fried Chicken. This is a recent comer to the Mara. It is a franchise that was fought over bitterly by Maude and Harold Hyena, who later got McDonalds, and Wally Warthog who owns the successful pubs in the Mara and Mombasa. Sylvia Cougar was still our mayor at the time. She, like most big cats, harbored a great deal of resentment toward hyenas. She loved Wally and had loaned him the money to start his multimillion dollar enterprise. However, Wally had gotten the Starbucks and Ben & Jerry’s franchises and Sylvia liked to be evenhanded. When she found that Harold and Maude had applied and had a good chance of getting McDonalds, she supported Jerry Jackal, Jerrilyn’s dad, in his application for Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Colonel’s eleven secret spices. Jerry won the day and now owns four chicken outlets in the Mara.
Chief Bubba Simba paced around the periphery of the trailer in back of Leander’s bungalow.
“Careeeee,” he roared, trying to rouse Sidney’s wife who had returned to the trailer once occupied by the couple before taking over the Simba Garden Center.
A disheveled female caracal, hardly recognizable as the once pristine psychiatrist at the mental health center, put her head out the door. As she further emerged into the bright sunlight, Bubba noticed how emaciated she looked. Bubba Simba is a very kind animal. He took pity on Cary Caracal.
“Cary, why don’t you let me take you to the mental health center and get help for you?”
“Lachlan won’t let me stay there anymore, Bubba.”
“Get dressed. I’ll wait for you and I’ll talk to Lachlan, myself.”
She closed the door after nodding her head in an affirmative fashion which Bubba took for acquiescence. He waited for quite a while outside the trailer. He looked at his watch and decided to knock on the door. When he put his paw to knock, the door swung open. He called to Cary and got no answer. He made his way to the back through piles of debris littering the floor. He found Cary slumped across the tiny shower stall, a needle still hanging from her arm. He immediately called the Exotic Animal Clinic and administered the CPR he had learned as an officer of the law. The ambulance came in a very short while being summoned by the chief of police. They took Cary, who was still breathing to the clinic’s emergency. Bubba then paid a visit to the Simba Garden Center where he found it crowded with customers, Alexander and Sidney going happily among them explaining their various botanicals. Bubba was impressed. He quietly took Sidney aside, telling him of Cary’s overdose and emergency run. Sidney placed his face in his paws for awhile before speaking with Alexander and following Bubba to the clinic.
“Dear Luce, let Grandmamma Lucretia build you and your children an estate on some property I own very close to my place,” suggested Lucretia Leoparde handing a demitasse to her great granddaughter, Lucy Cougar Simba.
Lucy, failing to get the total sympathy she desired from her parents and siblings, had turned to Lucretia. She had been staying there for several days with her three children. Lucretia had pampered her, allowing her two chauffeurs to take young Jimmy to kindergarten and the twins to their various play dates. Lucy reveled in the whole scene. She could be said to genuinely love her multibillionaire leopardess great grandmother. The two female cats appreciated the same qualities they sensed in one another – they were both self centered and autocratic.
“I still love Alex, Grandmamma. He doesn’t want to live this far out from the center of the Mara.”
“If you do get together with him again, Lucy, you will have a home which will include worlds of room for his garden,” argued Lucretia.
“Okay, Grandmamma, you win. Let’s start building,” giggled Lucy, giving Lucretia a kiss to the cheek.
Later the children joined them.
“I miss daddy,” whined Jimmy.
“Poppycock,” was Lucretia’s response.
Cary Caracal Simba awakened in her hospital room to find her husband, Sidney, sitting by her bed. Lachlan Lion entered the room and asked Sidney if he minded if he spoke with Cary alone. Sidney was actually relieved and left them their privacy.
“Cary, I will admit you again to the mental health center for a last time if you will promise me that you and I will fully explore your problems together. I am beginning to think you are too sensitive for the field of psychiatry. Some are, you know. If that’s the case, I would suggest a brief return to medical school to focus on what you may feel more comfortable with.”
“I think you’ve hit on something there, Lachlan. I feel like I’m going nuts myself when I’m working with disturbed patients.”
“That’s often the case, Cary. Have you thought of working with AIDS and HIV patients? This is a much needed field in Kenya and Africa in general.”
“Give me a few days to get my strength and mind back, Lachlan, and I will discuss this issue with you very seriously.”
“Sure thing, Cary, you get better and we’ll work on this problem of yours.”
Dr. Lachlan Lion visits Cary Caracal Simba in the clinic...
Arlon Lyon had never realized, as a very young cub and living within Kenya, what a legend his paternal grandfather was. In England, the former lion president of Kenya was revered and celebrated. Now he sat with Ralph and Mildred and soaked up every word they uttered. The couple was pleased but a bit puzzled as to why their grandson venerated them so. However, they didn’t mind at all. Arlon was the clone of Mildred’s favorite child, Ashley. It was on an evening like this that Staci Simba joined Arlon, the former president and first lioness and had a wonderful time. She joined in with the threesome in discussing the fact that Ralph and Mildred were legends in their own lifetimes. She ended up spending the night in one of their many guest rooms.
The paparazzi followed Arlon and Staci hoping to drum up a future love affair. They caught the step brother and sister in a great deal of camaraderie but failed in the romance department. Staci and Arlon presented as siblings and great friends but nothing in addition. Staci’s nascent heart was elsewhere – a place she hadn’t even realized at this point but which would become clearer as her schooling progressed and she became a nurse.
Sloane Simba was in a state of great aggravation and mourning. He had failed to make a dent on Caroline Cheetah. She had managed to keep working as State House anchor to great effect but as far as Sloane was concerned she was polite but distant. Caroline was madly in love with Sloane but the stakes were high and she didn’t want to fail so she, being very savvy, kept her distance and continued to date Leland Leoparde in a very public way.
Marla Meerkat is a rather interesting female that has been knocking around the Mara for quite some time. This is not to indicate, in the least, that Marla is bent with age. She is the offspring of a family of meerkats that moved from the Kalahari area to the Masai Mara. Marla has been Weezy Wolfe Leopard’s manager for her Largesse outsized fashion house. Once married to a Meerkat from the Kalahari and leaving Weezy’s establishment to live there, she has returned to the Mara and is a single mom. She walked the stairs to Sloane Simba’s office in the State House. Sloane had lost his secretary to pregnancy and needed a replacement. He studied the small animal with his lion gold eyes.
“You have quite a resume, Mrs. Meerkat. I spoke with Mrs. Wolfe-Leopard and she extols your virtues as an administrative assistant. I need someone who will almost think for me at times,” advised Sloane.
“Call me, Marla, Mr. Simba, and I can do just that.”
“Call me, Sloane, Marla and you’re hired on the usual three month probationary period for State House employees.”
Marla
Meerkat awaiting her interview with Sloane Simba.....
Caroline Cheetah was having problems with her conscience which was not usual for her. She seemed to be getting one in very early developmental stages, mind you - nothing to crow about yet. Her dilemma was focused on Leland Leoparde who was falling madly in love with the beauteous and inscrutable cheetah. Leland happened to be a very nice guy despite growing to adulthood in the bosom of a filthy rich family of leopards. Caroline had dated Luke on occasion but Leland’s brother had dumped her when he realized her fixation on Sloane Simba. Leland certainly matched Caroline for sharp wit, intellect and brilliance. The more he grew to love her, the worse Caroline felt. Unlike Luke, Leland had not declared himself adverse to marriage and even treated her son by Shane Simba with great affection. Caroline knew in her very gut that Leland was on the way to popping the question and didn’t know what her answer would be. She certainly didn’t want to use Leland to teach Sloane a lesson. In the long run, most preplanned escapades failed to have the proper effect on the egotistical and intellectual lion. She chewed her nails and had to have them replaced with false claws at Beau Visage. She grew even thinner.
“Caroline, I am worried about you,” announced Sloane, coming up behind her in the hall of the State House. “You look anorexic.”
“I am fine, Sloane, no reason to fret. I am eating healthily as I always prescribe on my cooking show.”
“I wish you’d at least let me take you to dinner at OKAPI’S. We can order the Beef Wellington, how does that sound?”
“I’m afraid it would hurt Leland for me to see you at this point, Sloane, and I am not being coy at all.”
Sloane sensed a new aspect in Caroline’s dark eyes – something anxious and troubled.
“Leland?”
“Yes, Leland Leoparde who is the new lawyer at Lyon & Associates. We have been seeing each other steadily. He adores my son.”
“So do I, Caroline. I also adore you which he probably mimics as well.”
“Leland, despite growing up a Leoparde family heir, is very kind and caring. He lacks your ego and arrogance, Sloane.”
“Caroline, give me the courtesy of just having one evening to ourselves and I will prove you wrong about me.”
“I’ll have to think about that, Sloane.”
“Please do.”
left: Sarah Lee and right: her sister, Leander on Leander's front porch....
Leander Simba sat with her sister, Sarah Lee on her veranda. The two sisters fanned themselves with palmettos for the day was one of intense heat.
“The pride is bringing in Goosey’s boys to help run some of the businesses,” commented Leander, taking a large gulp of her fifth martini and lighting a cigarette.
“God help us all,” was Sarah Lee’s take.
“There must be some more of us somewhere that Sean ran off, Sarah Lee. There were six of us sisters originally and that shit head of a husband of ours was so terrible they ran away from the pride territory”
“There’s Ginger and Sister that are probably still in the Mara,” said Sarah Lee taking a sip from her lemonade. “They had a passel of male cubs.”
“Better than getting Goosey’s kids. Her kids are as bad as she is.”
“I never could figure Goosey. She has a beautiful name – Gertrude – and she chooses to call herself Goosey.”
“I guess if I’d been named Gertrude, I would have changed it too,” said Leander, pouring another martini from her flask.
“You was always something of a rebel yourself, Leander.”
“When’s Betty’s cub due, Sarah Lee?”
“I don’t know, Leander. Shane don’t bother to keep me up on any news of his. By the way, Bubba is gonna remove that trailer next week from behind your bungalow.”
“That’ll be a good thing.”
The two siblings continued fanning themselves and sipping their beverages on the porch. The air-conditioning unit droned on in Leander’s living room.
Simon Simba hit the singles scene at the Watering Hole Pub with enormous success. His uncanny resemblance to Roy Lee served him there as well as it had in London. Heads swiveled and the females crushed to get to the bar near him. His first take out was an order of ribs and Linda Cougar. Simon had no qualms about taking Carson’s daughter to his mother’s bungalow. He knew that Leander, after her daily dose of martinis, would be snoozing in almost comatose state in her bedroom with the air-conditioning unit sounded loudly in the window.