Maurice & Friends

Bop Boon and

Fellow actress Chloe Cougar

Two females of different species seem to forget that we animals in Kenya have ascended into a rather profound state of civilization. There are boors in every life form on this planet of ours and leopards and baboons are no exception. The two, having dropped their thin veneer of propriety, are making threat gestures at one another in the office of one of the more elegant and civilized animals in the Mara. Bop Boon, the baboon film star and Chloe Cougar, film and stage star, are in the office of arts center director, Christine Cheetah Mbube. They have come today to iron out their contracts and look over the play that they will co-star in on the Catherine Cheetah Simba Memorial Theater stage in the center. Now the volatile twosome has hit a snag. Bop Boon is making threat gestures with her forehead in the old baboon way. This is only matched by Chloe’s threat mask and sharp hiss with teeth bared. Both ladies have engaged in dental bleaching. Their long canines are flawlessly white. Christine, crossing her legs in a lady like fashion under her desk, attempts to soothe.

“Both parts are extremely substantial and both afford ample opportunity to emote,” explains Christine. “It is a perfect vehicle for two major actresses.”

She is attempting to explain the play that Christine’s husband, lion actor Micah Mbube, will direct the actresses in. It is a famous stage play by Lillian Hellmann called The Children’s Hour. It involves the outing at a girl’s school of two lesbian teachers –a powerful drama and a great vehicle for dual actresses. Bop and Chloe want to make sure that they get the maximum exposure on stage. They have long been rivals at Baboon-Simba Studios. After another hour of bickering, Christine finally brings some order to the room and the two actresses seem content – at least for them.

The couple at in their bath.....

Shane and Alexandra Simba weren't invited to the wedding of Shane’s ex-wife Betty but felt no hard feelings at all. Shane was genuinely glad that Betty was embarked on her sixth marriage and hoped that this time Betty would find peace of mind and a modicum of happiness. No longer did Shane Simba fret over any female other than his gorgeous human wife, Alexandra. With her, his restless fires seemed banked in her lovely form and essence. She was a genuine helpmate to him in his presidency of Kenya. Alexandra was inventive, sharp, and highly efficient. She was imbued with a marvelous sense of humor. Everyone who met her was affected by her sense of fun and buoyant personality. She had no enemies even though her husband had been taken off the sexual market, so to speak, and he had been highly prized by females, human and otherwise. Now he was contented to be with Alexandra and their two children as well as fathering his by other wives. Alexandra was loved by all of his children. Shane Simba’s restless psyche was finally at peace. Alexandra had even affected a rapprochement for Shane with his mother, which was nothing short of miraculous. Now Sarah Lee Simba was a regular visitor at her son’s homes as he was at hers. The only fly in Shane’s ointment these days was the constant complaining of his half-brother, Sloane, about Shane’s son and Sloane’s daughter who seemed to be having a lusty dalliance.

Caroline Cheetah soon to be divorced from Sloane Simba...

Caroline Cheetah Simba decided that life with Sloane was not feasible any longer. She asked for a divorce. She was now at WMM-TV and the anchor for the evening news. Her old boss, Irving Impala, was paying her well and Sloane’s pride was rich. She went to the law offices of Grover Leoparde and Judge Bo Bonobo and filed. She had already moved out and was living with her small daughter, Cindy and son, Sunny, in a lovely and spacious apartment in one of Lewis Lyon’s recent complexes. She hired a nanny for Cindy. Sunny was past that age and playing soccer in middle school. The afternoon she filed, she celebrated by going to the Watering Hole Pub. It was jammed pack so she decided to check out the new sports bar area. Caroline lit a cigarette and perused the crowded room. She drew in her breath and stared across the room at a male lion that was the image of Shane Simba. He was in the midst of what appeared to be admiring females. She stared so hard that he looked up and saw her sitting there, her long legs encased in silk pantyhose. She blew him an air kiss which drew him to her.

“I think you must be kin to me,” he chuckled, taking a seat on the stool next to hers.

“And that would be because….?” she asked, blowing cigarette smoke through her nose.

“My mom was a cheetah.”

“Okay, now I know why you look like Shane Simba. I’m your aunt Caroline,” she said, sticking a hand out.

Instead of shaking it, he placed a kiss on it. “And I am Sean Simba.”

“You are the one that caused my divorce,” she laughed.

The young male looked perplexed. “Caused your divorce?”

“Yes, I am your Uncle Sloane’s wife and the stepmother of Georgy who I gather you’re screwing….at least that’s what her dad thinks. And I just filed for divorce today.”

“You two are getting a divorce because I see Georgy sometimes? That’s crazy.”

“Sloane has a tendency to obsess about his daughter, who I quite frankly detest. She has been a brat from the day I first met her. Now Sloane and I are finito.”

Sean threw back his head in laughter, sounding so like his father. Before he could speak again, Caroline laid forth another shocker.

“I am also the mother of your half-brother, Sunny. I got pregnant by your dad while he was married to Betty,” she declared.

“I remember that now,” he said, with serious clouded eyes. “I remember Betty crying. I happen to love Betty. She made my life happy again after Mummy died.”

“Soooo, that would make you dislike me since I made the magnanimous Betty cry,” giggled Caroline, who loved to put others on the hot seat.

“You’re a hot looking female,” was his response.

“And you’re not adverse to a bit of incest now and then, I take it,” she said, running a red lacquered nail down the front of his jeans.

“I rent a house on Leoparde Drive. My housemate is here and won’t be home for a long time. Want to go there with me?”

“And do what?” she purred, fingering his pant’s zipper.

“You know.”

“Let’s go.”

And with that invitation accepted, Sean Simba managed to further perfect his particular brand of ‘family relations’.

Dorian and Cynthia Cheetah, Mildred and Ralph Lyon along with Melba and Frank Tigeres were having a house party in the home of dear friends, Sylvia and Bernard Cougar. This weekend of old friends reuniting took place at the Cougar’s magnificent estate in Mombasa. There was much laughter, camaraderie and drinking among the group. They relived old times when they became the first movers and shakers in the Masai Mara, which eventually evolved into a new society of animals. Today they told tales of the times of their youth and touched on their children's lives. It was when discussing their grandchildren that they agreed things were even spicier among the new generation.

The male contingency enjoy a laugh at the Cougar's Mombasa house party:

From left, Bernard Cougar, Ralph Lyon, Dorian Cheetah and Frank Tigeres....

Glinda Gorilla and her monkey photographer, Roscoe, stood across the street from Sean Simba’s home amidst some shrubbery they hoped hid their presence. The foliage must have done the trick for in a bit, Sean’s BMW pulled into the drive followed by a strange car. As Glinda and Roscoe licked their lips in enthusiasm, they saw Caroline Cheetah Simba and Sean Simba convene on his front steps and lock lips with a most passionate and sexually charged embrace. They then went inside and a few seconds later, the lights went on in what Roscoe knew was Sean’s bedroom.

“This will have to go to the ANIMAL ENQUIRER under my pen name. I can only hint at it in the Daily,” cooed Glinda.

Roscoe checked the shot on his digital camera. “Look at this, will you?”

Glinda looked and saw a shot that was well focused of the President’s son with his aunt who also happened to be Sloane Simba’s wife.

“Houston, we have a landing,” giggled Glinda, parodying the American space program’s patois.

Sloane Simba stood in Sister Leonine’s garden with her. It was a lovely sun filled Saturday morning in the Mara.

“My wife and I are getting a divorce, Sister,” he told the lioness who had just handed him a cup of tea.

“Why?”

“I suppose the pressure of Georgy growing up and Caroline really despising her took its toll.”

“I’m terribly sorry, Sloane. Georgy tells me that she has had some wonderful visits with her natural mother lately so maybe this won’t hit her as hard. You seem very distraught.”

“Sister Leo, I happen to be in love with you. I have been for some time.”

She put a paw on his arm. “Sloane, I am dedicated to God. I have a husband in heaven. I will never leave the order. Just go, please. I feel very sad for you. You are a lovely lion but it’s best that we don’t see more of each other unless there is some problem with Georgy.”

Sloane handed the empty cup to the lioness. She could see that he was having a hard time in trying to hold back tears. Finally, he put out a hand and patted her shoulder, turned away and walked to his car.

That night after many drinks, Sloane called Lucy Cougar and asked her if he could come to her house. She was thrilled to bits.

Jane Leoparde, in her capacity as manager for the Masai Mara Daily, stood looking at the pictures that Glinda Gorilla had handed her.

“That’s the President’s son embracing the Justice Minister’s wife, who also happens to be his dead mother’s sister,” murmured Jane.

“Right you are,” giggled Glinda, hoping Jane would allow it to be put in her gossip column.

“This is terribly explosive, Glinda. I’ll have to run it past Bob Bushbuck.”

“Please do and remind him that we report the real news – not kiss up to Shane Simba.”

Lucy led the shit faced Sloane Simba to her room and helped him undress. He had been drinking heavily at her house and seemed on the verge of collapse. Lucy didn’t mind one bit. She was now in the throes of a new and ardent love affair. She no longer hankered for her ex-husband, Ashley Lyon, who had managed to become her best buddy. Now the passionate and emotional Lucy was focused fully on Sloane Simba of the magnificent mane. Sloane began to snore softly. Lucy covered him and went to the den where her children watched television. She helped, along with their nannies, to get them bathed and dressed for bed. Recently her three older sons by Alexander Simba had requested living with their dad for awhile. This would be okay with Lucy. They didn’t need to get too much of a bead on the fact that Mom was banging their sexy uncle. Lucy hummed to herself as she brushed her hair, sprayed herself with expensive perfume and got in bed next to the sleeping Sloane. He would certainly make it up to her in the wee hours before dawn. She rolled over, snuggled close and put her arms around the inert lion.

Glinda Gorilla typed happily away at her computer in the Daily office building. It was nine at night but she didn’t mind the late hour. The building was quiet and she could concentrate on her scoop. The publisher, Bob Bushbuck had reluctantly agreed to have Glinda expose the President’s oldest son in the next issue of the Masai Mara Daily. She quickly placed the pointer and typed out INCEST IN HIGH PLACES at the head of her next day’s column.