Maurice & Friends

A mayoral race is forthcoming in the Masai Mara. The candidate list is a mixed bag of the natural world and tricks. Sylvia Leoparde Cougar, our long time mayor, is retiring so she can spend time with her already retired vice presidential hubby, Bernard. One, if a resident here, could only guess that the sycophantic and totally insufferable Vonda Vulture will run. Michelle Mamba, who I like as does Sylvia, is running also. So we have a vulture and snake which is a first for the ballot. The front runner will probably be Dorian Cheetah who lost several years ago because of an old affair with a leopard in the Serengeti who claimed he fathered a litter of cubs by her. I don’t think that will make a difference in today’s Mara. Another candidate is Irma Impala who could possibly attain her goal given her husband’s ownership of our television station. Gerald Giraffe conferred with Bertram and me as to what we thought of his eligibility for the office. We discouraged him. The fact that he is gay and prone to cross dressing and late nights at Montecore’s Disco could fly in his face. Sylvia Cougar suggested that Betty Chimpo Simba run but the vice president’s mate felt that she would be less free to accompany her husband on political junkets. There is word that Maude Hyena will toss her hat in the ring as well. It should be very interesting this year.

As the holidays draw near, quite a few parties are slated. Lachlan and I seem to be on the invitation lists for most of them. Charlotte Elephanti and Cappie Cape Buffalo are having a huge affair at their barn as is Gerald Giraffe. Sylvia and Bernard are, of course, going to entertain before Christmas arrives. The Cheetahs are having a soiree at their Mombasa home and Betty and Shane Simba are giving a festive cocktail supper at their place. Hippi Potomus and Croc Crocodile are closing their Croc’s Bar & Grill for one night to entertain personal friends. The President and First Lioness are giving an official party at the State House and a personal one in their new digs in Mombasa. And then there’s Sophie Leila Monkee, known as mom to me. She will give her annual Christmas affair as will Lucretia Leoparde. Lachlan, Bertram and I are also invited to the Tigeres Compound for fun and Christmas games. There’s a rumor circulating that Ashley and Leah Lyon plan a blast at his Mara safari club.

It has just been announced on the evening newscast that Mayor Sylvia Cougar is backing a new candidate for the office she is vacating. This is a real block buster, probably a winner as well – the popular and adorable Leah Simba Lyon.

The icicles are almost visible in the Sloane Simba household. Caitlin is pregnant and still smarting from her husband’s reaction to the news. It is terribly reminiscent of another Simba male who quailed at the number of cubs borne by his mate. Chris Simba was the culprit in that devastating response. His marriage to Christine Cheetah crumbled shortly thereafter. It is a point of sensitivity with a female who is pregnant that her husband takes the news with enthusiasm instead of shock and dismay. Sloane Simba has failed the litmus test. Caitlin spent several days at Sylvia and Bernard’s home. She finally sought help again from Lachlan Lion who advised her to try and find ways to work around the issue for her cubs’ sakes.

Leander Simba, despite her martini consumption, is a solicitous and sensible lioness. When her son, Sloane, complained to her of his wife’s early pregnancy, she hit the ceiling.

“Was it your equipment that did the job, Sloane?” growled his mother.

“Well, of course it was, Mom. Caitlin is not a player. I just thought she should have gotten on the pill before we married,” whined Sloane.

“You straighten up and act your age, Sloane Simba. You got her pregnant. You live with it and don’t give that young female hell about it at a time she needs you most. I’m ashamed of you.”

Sloane, as brash and arrogant as he is, still wants his mother’s approval. He rushed from her home to the florist and bought the most beautiful bouquet he could manage to take with him. He went home to find Caitlin in the kitchen baking an Angel Food Cake. He held the bouquet in front of her.

“What’s this for, Sloane?” she asked as serenely as possible.

“Yours, Caitlin, to ask for your forgiveness. I have been such an asshole. The next time you go to the doctor, I’ll go with you. Maybe it will be time for a sonogram and we can find out how many cubs so we can fix a nursery for them in one of the bedrooms.”

Caitlin put the flowers on a counter and threw her arms around her husband.

“Oh, Sloane, who changed your mind?”

“I have a mother that tells me when I’ve been dreadful to this day,” he laughed.

In another household across the Mara, Alexander and Lucy (Cougar) Simba were about to hit the skids themselves. Although blessed with their adorable cub, James, Lucy was terribly fretful and pregnant again. It was time for Leander to set another son straight. This time, it wasn’t entirely Alexander’s fault. Lucy, being spoiled from the start, didn’t fret at all about being uncomfortable and taking it out on her husband. Leander’s recommendation to her son, Alexander, was to hang in for the sake of his children and try to disregard his wife’s horrendous moods. Alexander chose another outlet. He ran into the pregnant Caroline Cheetah one evening in the pub and went with her to her home. They had a brief affair at one time before his liaison with Linda Cougar. Since it was well established that Caroline’s cub was Shane’s, he could relax about her pregnancy and enjoy her body.

Caroline decided to take her maternity garbed self to Shane Simba’s office in the State House. His secretary allowed the vociferous cheetah to go in his inner office. Shane was behind his desk.

“What are you doing here, Caroline?”

“Just reminding you of my pregnancy,” she purred, sitting down with out permission and lighting a cigarette.

“You don’t need to take a seat. You’ll be leaving post haste. And don’t come here again. I’ll believe that’s my kid when I see a DNA test after he’s born. And even if he is, I will be taking no responsibility whatsoever, Caroline. Now get the hell out of here before I call my guards.”

“Call them!”

Shane summoned two Masai guards who took Caroline by the arms and escorted her from his office and the State House. Betty was in the corridor outside the First Lioness’ office and saw Caroline, protesting angrily, as she was conducted from the building.

Glenda Gorilla’s afternoon entertainment segment on television reported the incident. That same evening, Caroline in her job as news anchor, stood in front of her news desk so it could be seen that she was pregnant and wearing maternity garments. She couldn’t wait until she really showed. Then she would accentuate her condition even more.

Leah Simba Lyon, having tossed her hat in the mayoral ring, got terrific support from her parent’s and husband. Roy Lee, using the studio’s expert camera personnel and sets, filmed the most professional campaign spots for his daughter. Janice Jaguar gave her daughter a beautifully designed wardrobe. Ashley used his safari clubs to hold rallies and fundraising parties. Leah was to be a formidable opponent for any candidate. She was much loved and admired with absolutely no skeletons in her closet. Dorian Cheetah backed off in the face of Leah’s candidacy. He hadn’t really had his heart in the race anyhow. When opponents would attempt to play dirty, Leah would turn the other cheek, realizing that not much could be said of her other than youth and a lack of experience. These were the issues she addressed in the campaign. But with Sylvia backing her, the race was almost won. She had the advantage of being a major movie star and popular fashion icon’s daughter; the President of Kenya’s daughter-in-law and the Vice President’s niece. She happily breezed through two weeks of intense campaigning where she gave no low blows but exhibited her beauty, wit and charm filled personality. On Election Day, she won by a landslide.

Bertram, Lachlan and I attended the victory party held at the Leoparde-Lyon Safari Club in the Mara. There was much celebration. Leah’s parents, Roy Lee Simba and Janice Jaguar Gorilla, forgot discretion and openly hugged and kissed each other. With the handsome and charismatic Ashley in tow, Leah walked among her supporters and celebrants thanking all for their work on her behalf. She was to be inaugurated and take over the office before Christmas. Sylvia and Bernard Cougar were there and feeling jubilant that she would be released from the post and able to join Bernard in his retirement. They left the next day for Mombasa and a final fishing trip with Carl and Georgia Cougar before their return to Montana.

new Mayor Leah Simba Lyon with hubby Ashley at the victory celebration on election night.....

Irving Impala was rather disturbed with two of his employees. Glenda Gorilla had reported the news of Caroline Cheetah’s forced exit from Shane Simba’s office recapping the facts of her pregnancy and indicating that the unborn child belonged to the vice president. To make matters worse, following the segment on Entertainment World, Caroline had done her evening newscast in front of the desk, sporting a maternity dress. Irving Impala wanted no clashes with the State House on matters of hearsay. He fired Glenda Gorilla, replacing her with the social writer for the Masai Mara Daily, Celia Chimpo, first cousin to Betty. Bob Bushbuck refused to take Glenda back at the Daily, having fired her once before. Irving called Caroline Cheetah on the carpet and told her to return to behind the desk for her newscast or else. Glenda Gorilla went immediately to the leopard that owned the Animal Enquirer and got a full time job with him. Caroline was on shaky ground. Irving was looking for a replacement for her as well.

That same week, Sylvia Cougar showed Leah Lyon the ropes in the Mayor’s office. The bubbly wife of Ashley got a quick take on the situation. Sylvia felt she had made the right choice in backing the attractive and efficient Leah. She could leave her long held post with an easy conscience.

Chloe Cougar Simba was taking her two leopard friends to Mombasa more often. The gay actors that had starred with her in Some Like It Hot, loved Roy Lee’s elaborate beach front home. There they would smoke pot with Chloe and indulge in endless bloody marys. Roy Lee and Chloe’s children would remain on Leoparde Drive with the household help and their father. Roy Lee allowed his daughter, Lee, to date Arlon Lyon who was the same age. He didn’t mind Chloe’s weekends away. It gave him more time with Janice. After visiting her condo, Roy Lee would retire for the evening and play some tennis with his son, Troy, on the court that lay behind the house on their property. Roy Lee and Chloe were emotionally distanced from each other. But they had four offspring and so planned to continue the marriage by effectively leading separate lives. Chloe met a lover at Wally’s Beach Pub and took him to her house. This met with no disapproval from her houseguests who had met another gay there and done the same. A useful meeting place for Roy Lee and Janice was the home of their daughter, Leah. There they could kick back and enjoy a family atmosphere once more. Leah was elated at the happiness of her parents these days.

Christine Cheetah and Micah Mbube wed in a simple ceremony in her parent’s home in Mombasa. Although Micah had been irritated by Arlon Lyon when he was seeing Betty, he had grown fond of Christine’s cubs by Chris Simba. Her attendants were her sister, Chelsea and Betty Simba. Roy Lee Simba stood with Micah as best male. Bertram, Lachlan and I went to Mombasa for the occasion. The wedding was small but very festive. The bride and groom looked very happy before they took off for a honeymoon in Johannesburg, South Africa, where Micah is from. As a result of the nuptials, Chris Simba got in his cups in the Watering Hole Pub and had to be retrieved by neighbor, Simone Serval.

MIcah and Christine on their wedding day in Mombasa....

Steven Simba and Cameron Caracal squared off in court in the case that involved their clients. Steven fought like a tiger for his client but lost. He had known that the leopard he was representing didn’t really have the upper hand and was guilty of a great deal of chicanery. He was mightily impressed with Cameron in court. She was one hell of a lawyer. This doubled his determination to get a date with the reluctant female. He found out that she lived in the Salt Lick Condos and decided to leave his brother, Sidney, the rented bungalow known as the Simba Fuck Farm. He had Linda Cougar show him a condo not too far down the row from Cameron’s. He signed the lease that day and moved in two days later. He made a decision to clean up his act so as to attract the very serious Cameron. This didn’t mean he would forego sex all together. He would simply be more subtle than the orgies at the Fuck Farm. That was until he finally nailed down some quality time with Cameron.

Cameron Caracal working out at RUNNERS....

The first big writing assignment Glenda Gorilla undertook in her new job with the Animal Enquirer, was a thorough investigation of the Caroline Cheetah-Shane Simba unborn cub scandal. She had the full cooperation of Caroline who showed her the ultrasound images and gave her a verbatim account of the occasion that resulted in the male cub’s conception. Glenda took a picture of the presidential railroad car in which the adulterous act occurred. She interviewed reporters who remembered Caroline’s return from the train in Turkana. Glenda worked on the layout, splashing it with photographs of Caroline in maternity clothes, the train car, ultrasound image and one of Shane Simba on the trip to Turkana with Caroline walking closely behind. The issue went to press and hit the stands a week later. It was front page fodder and sensationally presented. It lifted the lid off a can of worms causing more wretched commotion in Staci’s school. She came home weeping the first day. Betty took her aside and pleaded with her not to renew her anger with her father.

“This is going to go on for some time, Staci, and then it will die down. The world has a short attention span,” she said, applying a handkerchief to her stepdaughter’s tear stained face.

Betty didn’t know what would happen when Arlon was no longer here to defend and comfort Staci.

The next day, Caitlin Cougar Simba suffered a miscarriage. Sloane experienced paroxysms of guilt. But unlike Lucy Cougar Simba, Caitlin didn’t fall to pieces over the fact. She had not wished that early a pregnancy and was mildly relieved. She came home and happily resumed her work with the Masai Mara Daily and sculpting in the room set aside for this in the new house. She had a marvelous meal prepared for her husband when he arrived from a hard day at Simba Brothers. They once again resumed their honeymoon aura only with a difference – Caitlin got on birth control pills.