Maurice & Friends

Bottom line is that the joie in joie de vivre has gone out of this Yule tide season. At least among the growing number of animals that love and admire Jack Tarzan. Now that is not to say that the lion male is lacking in those who want to make his wife’s defection more palatable to him. Leah Simba has first dibs on that one much to the dismay of her current squeeze, Lion Lion. Leah and Jack have been seeing each other steadily. The loss of the much wanted cub which Betty miscarried is another bummer in Jack’s life.

Jack Tarzan is having a bad season....

Our office staff has been given orders not to take President Shane Simba his daily dose of newspapers outright. Darlene and Belinda, his secretaries, know now to clip the offending pictures of Betty Chimpo and Sean Simba shining their asses in Manhattan before placing the various rags on his desk. It was on the advice of Shane’s wife, Alexandra that we began to do this. She was wary of a flare up of her husband’s almost non-existent ulcers.

Shane Simba kicks back in the mansion's basement bar and pool room...

Bertram Baboon’s home is very handsome but on the somber side in décor. The dark paneled walls are in every room, no doubt owing to a baboon’s love of woods and trees. There is an enormous rock fireplace in the main salon also due to the specie’s penchant for stony .escarpments. The upholstery is grave also. Deep satins and velvets in addition to rich brocades adorn the seating areas. Lachlan and I attended a Christmas party there. Bertram did have a brightly festooned Christmas tree, probably at the request of his wife, Gloria Chimpo Baboon. When we walked in, Lachlan and I were greeted by a larger crowd than usually graces Bertram’s events. As a rule, the baboon director’s soirees consist of very gay males hunkered down in intense and flirtatious groups. Even Roy Lee and Janice (Jaguar) Simba were in attendance. Now mind you, Bertram and Roy Lee have been business partners in the movie dominion for as long as one can remember but they seldom socialize although quite fond of each other. As Bertram has often said, “The Simba males are such in your face heterosexuals – flaming straights, as it were.” The gay Bertram and his business partner seldom frequent the same parties. Even Leah Simba was there with Jack Tarzan. This extended guest list is probably also the influence of his wife, Gloria. Montecore even lolled on a sofa giving forth details of Betty’s brief stay at his upstairs apartment. It was all too much so Lachlan and I left early.

Bertram and Gloria (Chimpo) Baboon in his main salon.....

Troy Simba...

One attendee at Bertram and Gloria’s party was Troy Simba. A word about that handsome lad - he is the son of Roy Lee and his ex-wife, Chloe Cougar. As such he is a member of the Simba pride as well as being connected to the Leoparde family. He is the much loved grandson of Sylvia and Bernard Cougar. True enough, Bernard Cougar has terrific issues with Troy’s mom, Chloe, but he adores his handsome and athletic grandson. At an early age, Bernard took Troy under his wing and taught him to fish from the extraordinary boats that have always been a part of Bernard’s world in Mombasa. Troy even learned to snow ski during winter vacations in Montana with his grandparents. Troy, however, shows nothing of his cougar or leopard heritage except for the green eyes and tell-tale smattering of spots below his eyes. He is the spitting image of his lion dad, superstar Roy Lee Simba. Already a member of the All Stars soccer team in the Mara, he has been signed to play football with Lewis Lyon’s Kenya Lions. Although housing with and close to first cousin, Sean Simba, Troy is made of sterner stuff than the disorganized and unscrupulous Sean. Troy has been a bit unnerved at the shenanigans of his cousin in regard to Betty Chimpo. “Nuts! Sean’s fucking nuts to be banging that old monkey,” are his sentiments to several close friends and as well as his dad.

Nevertheless, Sean Simba was not thinking in terms of banging an ‘old monkey’. Betty, cosmetically made over, is still looking pretty ‘hot’ as the young things like to say. In addition, her former stepson’s was anything but a maternal take on his dad’s ex-wife. Happily ensconced in Betty’s Manhattan pied-à-terre was just the ticket. With brisk snowflakes coming down in the Big Apple, the couple took hot baths together, made love to a fault and flaunted their much publicized affair in the face of New Yorkers. The paparazzi were snapping away and in seventh heaven. Everywhere they looked there were photo ops of the horny couple.

Betty and Sean take in an ice show in Manhattan......

In a neighborhood bar in NYC...

Canoodling in Central Park amid Christmas lights....

In the mansion after school, there was much giggling on the part of Tarek and Jalil Simba, Betty's sons with Shane. As much vigilance as was taken, the twins still turned on the telly and got glimpses of their mother cavorting with their oldest half brother. They were highly amused and not quite old enough to get the full ramifications and impact of the situation. Solly Simba did get it. He was deeply saddened and ashamed in front of his team mates on the junior soccer team.

The staff in the executive mansion and State House is terribly grateful for the fact that Sean’s dad is happily married to the love of his life that soothes his every thought and action. Otherwise, it is well known that with the current shenanigans between his ex-wife and oldest son, Shane Simba’s explosive temper would have blown every which way and at all times. The walls would be dripping red without the remarkable Alexandra Delamere Simba.

Shane and his soothing wife, Alexandra Delamere Simba...

Duke and Leah Simba stood in his office examining a brilliant young thing that wanted to be a fashion model. She was exquisite and very small. Both designers were filled with anticipation and interest. JAGGERS was booming and they never seemed to have enough models. Her name is Samira and she is a sand cat. Glorious of eye and form, she was just the ticket thought both owners almost simultaneously. The petite beauty, she advised them, was simply called Sandy. She was signed on the spot and put on the front burner for the next large fashion show which just happens to be next week.

Even in the Mara among animal populations, the same holds true– one female’s loss is often another’s gain. In the case of Imani Lyon this happened to be a godsend directly from her mother, Leah. Imani was not making great headway with Pete Levin, the lion president of Tanzania. After a brief and very physical fling, Pete had other fish to fry and ceased calling Imani for emergency sex. Before the advent of Jack Tarzan’s return to the singles scene, Leah Simba had been dating lion architect, Lion Lion. Now she was seeing as much of Jack Tarzan as possible. This left Lion Lion foot loose and rather annoyed during the holiday season. Holidays seldom mix well with romantic disarray so Lion took to frequenting the sports bar at The Watering Hole Pub. Of course, being Leah’s daughter, Lion had met Imani before this. Fortunately, she had not lived with her mother during the time Lion was seeing Leah. This prevented the architect from getting a bead on the rather unpleasant, acid and petulant personality that is Imani Lyon. Even Imani’s siblings are hard pressed to describe their sister as a nice animal. Imani’s most successful relationships are with her father, Ashley Lyon and her grandmother, Mildred Lyon. But I digress.

Imani was looking especially sexy and well adorned the night Lion Lion entered the pub. She was without her buddy and cousin, Georgy Simba. She struck up a conversation with her mother’s former lover. It went thus:

“I see Mom dumped you for that Tarzan guy,” snarled Imani, lighting a cigarette.

“I wouldn’t put it that way. Leah and I had no commitment to one another. We were more or less on the cusp of whatever we were to engage in,” he said, lighting a Camel.

“Fancy fucking way to put it - she just dumped you is my take on the matter.”

“Do you work at being unpleasant or is it a natural part of your make up?”

“A little of both,” answered Imani, caressing Lion’s expensively clad leg.

“If you continue handling my body parts, you may just get in trouble, Imani.”

His eyes were smoky and alert. He began to stroke her rear end.

“Would you screw a mother and then a daughter, Lion?”

“Sounds like a winner.”

When Solly Simba exited the elevator on the family level of the mansion, his father was standing there about to go join his wife in the library.

“Solly, how was practice, son?” asked Shane putting an arm around his growing cub’s shoulders.

“Okay,” answered Solly and caught on a sob.

Shane was appalled. This was one of his favorite children. He tipped Solly’s face to his and saw the tears welling in the green eyes that were identical to Shane’s.

“What is it, Solly, please tell me.”

“Dad, the team is laughing like hell at what Mom and Sean are doing. Their pictures are everywhere in the tabloids,” cried Solly.

Shane guided his son into the library where a bright fire glowed in the grate. Alexandra gave them both a kiss but left seeing that father had to talk to the son. Alexandra could sense Solly’s distress.

“Solly, memories are short. This will pass, son, and the team and others will forget,” soothed Shane, drawing Solly closely against him on the sofa.

“I hate what Mom is doing to Jack, Dad. Jack is such a neat guy,” wept Solly.

“I hate everything about the situation, Sol. Anytime you want to see Jack, the driver will take you. Or, I just may give you your Christmas present early.”

Solly, being young and instantly curable stopped crying and looked at his father.

“Christmas present?” he asked,

“Yes, you’re the age to drive and I was going to give you a car this Christmas. I will let you pick it out at Def Leoparde’s tomorrow. Is that a date?”

“Oh, Dad, thanks sooo much,” he said, giving his father a bear hug.

“I know it doesn’t make up for your mother’s antics but maybe it will alleviate the ache a bit. Also, Sol, we have that English Christmas to look forward to.”

For the first time in weeks, Solly Simba went to bed in a happy frame of mind.

The Saturday night of the fashion show at JAGGERS was a rain filled event. The clouds had broken over the Masai Mara rendering the area wet and incredibly muddy in spots. This didn’t dampen the enthusiasm inside the fashion emporium’s glamorous new building. Georgy Simba was undergoing last minute adjustments and occasionally peeking through the door to see if Juma Mnyama had arrived. Imani Lyon was doing the same for architect Lion Lion. The feisty Imani was not at all pleased to see the gorgeous Sandi Sandcat being fitted for a great many costumes. It was obvious that Duke was enthralled with his new model. Leah welcomed Jack Tarzan to her office. After kissing him, she asked what brought him to the show.

“You know damn well that I’m about as fashion conscious as a bull elephant but I chose to cover this show with Jane Leoparde…….as well as see you. Are you busy later?” asked Jack.

“I’m always available for you, my sweet Jack,” she said, placing her arms around his neck and kissing him.

Sandi Sandcat models shorts, Imani a white wool dress on the JAGGERS runway.....

The spectators banking the runway fell silent as Led Zeppelin sounded from the speaker system. Spotlights shone and the show got under way. Imani Lyon in a pair of skin tight sequined jeans and almost see through top brought down the house. Then Georgy Simba was followed by Delilah Dik Dik. The last model of a forty minute runway show was Sandi Sandcat. You could hear the intake of collective breaths as the little feline beauty strutted her stuff in four outfits, each slinkier then the other. There was a standing ovation for the little beauty. Troy Simba’s green eyes glowed as he went back stage after the show. Being Leah’s half-brother, he was allowed such privileges. He made a beeline for Sandi, asking her for a date after. By the nod of her pretty head, one could assume she consented.