Maurice & Friends

Police Chief Bubba Simba was about leave for a long day’s sojourn at the law enforcement headquarters in the Mara. As he stepped out the front door of his home on the Simba pride territory, he almost stumbled on a crew that was setting up a building project. With further investigation of the trucks he saw they were from Lewis Lyon Construction. He decided to get the skinny on the situation pronto.

“What’s going on here? What you building? This is my pride’s territory,” stated Bubba, flicking his badge at them.

Duly unimpressed, the foreman answered, “President Simba is having a house built here.”

“Shane just built himself a new house. What is he having built here? Storage shed for all them riches he’s done gotten?”

“Have to ask him.”

“You’re settin’ up right here at my front door. My lionesses and I won’t have a lick of privacy,” protested the discombobulated Bubba. “Whatever you’re gonna build is too close to my freaking house.”

“Talk with the President,” answered the foreman, who was human and spat a wad of chewing tobacco that just missed Bubba’s spit polished police shoes.

Bubba drove straight to the State House and entered his brother’s office.

“What you building on our pride territory, Shane?” asked the outraged Bubba.

“A house for Aunt Leander and Goosey,” was his answer.

Shane was about to engage in a press conference and was intent on pulling the details together. I was there as well.

“No, you ain’t, Shane. Aunt Leander is fine but we don’t want that old Goosey war horse back on the territory,” growled Bubba. “I’m the one that has to deal with her crazy ass.”

“We’ll discuss this later, Bubba -I have a press conference in….” Shane looked at his watch. “Ten minutes.”

“You know what your problem is, little brother? You’ve gotten too damn big for them britches of yours.”

Chief of police Bubba Simba undergoes pride problems...

On another front, Staci Simba phoned Betty at her office. Betty was meeting with her lecturers at Kenya University.

“Betty, don’t forget Daddy’s birthday. It’s next week,” reminded Staci.

“I always remember Shane’s birthday, Staci.”

“Daddy’s a Leo,” giggled Staci.

“Who would have guessed,” chuckled Betty. “We’ll discuss plans this evening, Staci. Come to dinner.”

Betty at the university....

That week, fearing reprisals from the powerful Simba and Lyon prides, Ari Leo went to Ashley Lyon’s home and persuaded his wife, Imani Lyon Leo, to return to his bungalow on the Leo pride turf. The couple drove off leaving a much relieved Ashley in their wake.

Arlon Lyon and his new wife, Lee Simba Lyon, had an announcement to make. They chose the setting of a dinner at Roy Lee and Janice Simba’s home to make it. Betty and Shane were there as well as Ashley Lyon and Chloe Cougar.

“I’m pregnant,” pronounced the happy Lee.

Roy Lee offered a toast to the prospective parents. Shane reminded Betty that she would join the ranks of grandparents very soon. The coming cub or cubs would contain none of Betty’s DNA but Arlon was her first born and she was excited at the prospect.

Betty with her pregnant daughter-in-law, Lee Simba Lyon.....

Shane Simba is not one that you surprise with an event of any sort. With that in mind, his wife had announced that she was having a birthday bash for him at their new home.

The evening of the party was blessed with wonderful weather and an abundance of stars. It was cool outdoors for this is our winter season. Three fireplaces were lit in the house and guests could congregate there or enjoy the beautiful veranda and garden. Earlier that evening the couple had dressed for the party which was a dressy affair.

“I’m getting old, Fifi,” commented Shane as he sprayed cologne in his mane.

“Good heavens, darling, you are still very young. Just because you have grandchildren is no reason to assume you’re old. Young lions can still be grandfathers.”

“I guess you’re right. I’m a grandfather before you and I’m just six years old,” he laughed.

“Let’s not address the age thing, Shane. I’ll lose on that one every time. I know that I’ve robbed the cradle with you, darling,” she giggled.

He put his arms around her and nuzzled her cheek.

“It’s a cradle that was dying to be robbed, Fifi. I love you Mrs. Simba.”

“I love you back, Mr. President.”

Shane kicking back in Mombasa.....

Alexandra Delamere Simba returned to her highland plantations and spent her weekends in the home she had gotten from Shane in their divorce. It is a lovely estate on Lamu Island in Mombasa. Her marriage with the lion hunter had dissolved and she wanted her daughter back. With that in mind, she took Shane back to court to wrest the custody of Tanya Simba from her father. Sam Simba sighed at the spectacle this would make. He convinced Shane to return Tanya to her mother and get weekend visitations. Shane has never been one to want mothers separated from their children. He consented and a presidential court spectacle was avoided.

Alexandra surfing off Lamu Island....

That week, Mayor Maude Hyena decided to tackle her favorite nemesis on the matter of his aunt Goosey Simba trashing the neighborhood where Maude and Harold had their ostentatious home. Maude sat primly before the presidential desk. Shane Simba, like most lions, has no love for hyenas.

“The neighborhood has become an eyesore, President Simba, with your aunt throwing beer cans in her yard,” stated Maude, crossing her checkered panty hosed legs.

“The neighborhood, Maude? Doesn’t she confine the mess to her own yard?”

Maude was always on shaky ground with this lion president. They detested each other. She had grown to love Ralph Lyon who made a point of putting her at ease whenever she was around him. Not so Shane Simba.

“Sir, it is not pleasant to own a home in an expensive neighborhood and find your property devalued,” she continued.

“My aunt will be leaving the house on Leoparde Drive very shortly, Maude,” said Shane, his voice as icy as Arctic tundra.

“If it is to be vacant, Harold and I would love to purchase it for our son and his wife,” offered Maude who should have known better.

“No. I will not sell the house to you and your husband. I have business to attend, Maude. My secretary will show you out.”

The rehearsals for Evita were going swimmingly. Chloe Cougar and her ex-hubby, Roy Lee Simba were on the same page about most of the production details and Micah Mbube who filled one male role was delighted at the progress. Micah was now the theater director for the arts center. His wife, Christine Cheetah Mbube is the executive director for the entire kit and caboodle. Chloe had lost weight, was not drinking excessively and was performing her musical numbers beyond anyone’s expectations. Things looked good. Glenda Gorilla, on a rather dry season gossip wise, scheduled an interview with the leopard-cougar actress. Glenda, having returned to her job as gossip columnist for the Masai Mara Daily, decided to video tape the interview.

Chloe was feeling voluble and looking good so she gave her all to the reporter. Caroline Cheetah, head news anchor at WMM-TV, was happy to air Glenda’s video on the evening hot spot. Irving Impala, the owner of our local television station, looked on in horror as Chloe giggled about her closet assignation with Shane Simba during a rock concert. Chloe gave glowing details of the tryst.

“Sheesh,” screeched Irving, who was sure this was going to upset the lion president and bring hell on the station.

Bob Bushbuck, publisher of the Daily, knew Glenda Gorilla for what she was. He had his manager, Jane Leoparde, go over Glenda’s column with a fine tooth comb. The section describing the sexual rendezvous at the rock concert with Shane was omitted.

Bob Bushbuck slept well that night. .Irving Impala tossed and moaned so that his wife, Irma, told him to sleep on the couch.

Chloe Cougar (l) engages in a 'tell all' interview with reporter, Glenda Gorilla...

Imani Lyon Leo was feeling punk in her early pregnancy. She had returned to her husband’s bungalow and was bored to tears. She had the houseboy go to the market and purchase several gallons of ice cream which she ate with gusto. She wished she could drink some booze but it made her puke. She smoked cigarettes incessantly. The ashtrays were littered when Ari Leo returned from a day of pre-scheduling at Kenya University. Imani was sitting in his favorite chair watching Meerkat Manor when he walked in the front door.

“This place smells like one big ashtray, Imani,” he groused.

“So what?” she said.

She switched the channel to Entertainment Tonight. Ari grabbed the remote and went to the evening news on WMM-TV. Imani perked up. There was her buddy, Chloe Cougar, describing in vivid detail the incident in the closet during the rock concert. Chloe’s details about Imani’s great uncle Shane Simba were titillating and caused Imani to giggle for the first time that day.

They did not cause Shane Simba to giggle at all. In fact, Shane was livid and it took Betty to calm him down.

“Chloe is not to come to any parties at this house. I am banning her, Betty,” he roared.

“Shane, she is the mother of my new daughter-in-law who is the daughter of your brother, Roy Lee, as well. We cannot ostracize Chloe,” insisted Betty. “What are you doing?”

“I’m phoning Maurice to tell him to accost WMM-TV for airing this thing,” he growled.

“Shane, darling, you have dictated freedom of speech in Kenya. Don’t make an issue of this. You and I have both seen worse.”

The houseboy brought their drinks and Shane lit the ritual two cigarettes, handing one to Betty. Betty put her arms around him and felt the tension subside.

“I think having the pre-make over pictures of me plastered all over a smut publication was much more embarrassing than Chloe describing the glories of sex with you,” chuckled Betty.

Shane began to laugh.

“You’re right as always, Fifi. You actually did a better job of that in your book.”

Bubba Simba was fed up to the gills. Who better to address the problem than the pride’s real head, Roy Lee Simba? Roy Lee was home and invited his litter mate to join him in a drink. Roy Lee lit a cigarette and asked Bubba what was bothering him.

“Shane is just getting too big for his britches and he’s out of control, Roy Lee,” complained Bubba.

Roy Lee threw back his great golden head and roared with laughter. He patted the distressed police chief on the knee.

“Shane was born out of control and too big for his britches. So what else is new?” guffawed Roy Lee.

“You’re the only one that can control him, Roy Lee.”

“Since when?”

That week didn’t get any better for Bubba when Shane advised his cop brother to dart their aunt Goosey Simba and get her out of his house on Leoparde Drive.

“What you talkin’ about, Shane – I ain’t gonna dart my fucking aunt,” roared Bubba.

“Why not, Bubba? She’s a ferocious predator,” laughed Shane.

“You’re the one needs to be darted,” growled Bubba, leaving Shane’s office with a loud slam of the door.