Simon Simba stretched his legs in his apartment in London.  He was drinking British Stout and fuming at a phone call he had just received from Roy Lee informing him that the time had come for his return to Kenya.  Simon had been enjoying a brief respite since his graduation from law school.  He was working for a British firm that represented many African companies.  He had also been enjoying a liaison with a human of great beauty.  He had known huge successes sexually due to his uncanny resemblance to his half brother, megastar, Roy Lee Simba.  Simon was pissed but knew that the call had been inevitable from the day he accepted an education from the pride.  He rang up his brother and told him to enjoy his own time in the great English city.  It would all end too soon.  He enjoyed a meal of brisket and potatoes and headed for the travel agency to book for Kenya and the Mara. 

Simon Simba heads back to the Mara....

            Alexander and Sidney Simba worked hard at building up the garden center business and profits.  Alexander remained living with Sidney in his trailer.  He had to give money to Lucy and his children so he was rather strapped.  He hoped if Lucy went for a divorce that she would let him keep his beloved house on Lyon Avenue where he had created a garden of great beauty.  He would manage to purchase her another although she was a Leoparde family heiress. 

            Simon Simba stepped off the commuter plane from Nairobi.  He was greeted by a driver for Roy Lee who was to take him to Leander’s bungalow.  He had forgotten the equatorial heat of East Africa in the cooling fogs of London. He removed his suit jacket and slung it across his shoulder.  He took an expensive linen handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face.  He almost ignored the small talk Roy Lee’s Kikuyu driver attempted to make.  The limousine pulled in front of his mother’s bungalow.  The driver helped him take his luggage to the porch.  His mother answered the door with her usual martini glass and cigarette holder. 

            Lucy Cougar Simba was not about to give up the comfortable home on Lyon Avenue she had shared with Alexander.  In fact, Lucy adored her husband and wanted him back.  The entire Cougar family could not convince her that some of their problems were her fault.  All Lucy had to do was visit her great grandmother, Lucretia Leoparde at her estate on the Mara River to get reinforced as to her perfection.  The hard nosed leopardess who had given her children and grandchildren such misery was gaga about her namesake, Lucy Cougar Simba.

“You look more beautiful each day, Fifi.  Pregnancy has always agreed with you.  I should know because I made love to you when you were pregnant with Jason.”

Betty threw her hands to her face.

“Darling, we are not supposed to remember those depraved days of our past,” she giggled. 

“Yes, we should, Fifi.  They make up the fabric of our astounding love affair,” laughed Shane, holding her tightly. 

“Oh gawd, you’re reading our publicity these days,” she laughed. “Shane, isn’t it wonderful that Frank Tigeres says we can have more children together?”

“Is Frank going to pay for them?” he chuckled.  “Just kidding, Fifi, we can have as many as you want as long you keep standing upright and fuckable.”

“Oh, Shane, you are terrible,” she giggled, pulling him on top of her and turning off the bedside lamp. 

            The only good thing Steven Simba had in his life these days was the mother of his illegitimate child, Caitlin Cougar.  He had been forced back to Simba Brother’s by the pride board’s edict.  His human wife hated him and to make matters worse she was pregnant.  He had gone back to the pride law firm after giving up the head of Lyon & Associates. 

“Who was the moving force behind my returning?” he had roared to Sam. 

“Shane called me, Steve,” said Sam who was preoccupied with a brief he was writing.   

            Shane Simba was in his presidential office when his half-brother, Steven Simba, walked past the secretaries and entered the inner sanctum. 

“Where the hell do you get off dictating to everyone in the pride where they are going to work?” shouted Steven with no howdy of any sort. 

“Cool your jets, Steven.  Simba Brothers is in crisis and we need you.  The pride businesses have to come first.  You have two kids already and they are going to need educating in the future,” explained a shaken Shane. 

“For starters, why do we all have to be freaking lawyers?  Who started that?  I notice that Chris is economics major,” snarled Steven. 

The shouting had raised the concern of the Masai guards who came running in and held Steven’s arms.  Shane soothed the alarmed Masai and they left the room.  He asked the houseboy to bring the Scotch bottle and two glasses. 

“I don’t know where the idea of being lawyers came from, Steve.  I didn’t mind.  Sefu had started the law firm and I was directed by him to train in that.  So was Sam.  Sam and Sefu are really into being lawyers.  If I tell Sam to make you co-manager of Simba Brothers, will it make you more content?”

“I suppose so, Shane.  Sorry about barging in here.  I am just sort of having a hard time with my marriage and then I get moved from my position at Lyon & Associates.”

Shane didn’t want to delve heavily into his marriage as Steven had married his former squeeze, Dina Myers. 

            Two days later, Simon arrived for work at Simba Brothers and Sam made Steven co-manager with a hefty salary.  Steven was glad that Dina had gone to Lyon & Associates again. 

            That same day, Ashley Lyon landed and taxied down the runway at the safari club in his intercontinental Lear jet.  With him was his son, Arlon Lyon, who is on a break from his school in London.  Ashley had flown to England to bring his first born to the Mara.  Arlon, already handsome with a budding mane, was anxious so see his family. 

            Arlon’s first major visit was to his mother, Betty Simba.  She welcomed her oldest child with open arms.  When asked what Arlon wanted to drink, his response was “Scotch and water, please.”

“I see you’re pregnant again, Mom.  I hope you aren’t going to go crackers on us.  You went through a lot to bring Shane Simba down.  Please don’t mess it up.”

“If you must put it like that, Arlon, yes I did.  Frank and Lachlan both think I won’t have the post partum psychosis this time around.”

“Well, if they’re wrong, you can hide in London until you’re finished.  I can handle you.”

Arlon Lyon, son of Ashley and Betty.....

Arlon had never been one to mince words.  Staci came running in to greet her stepbrother.  She thought he had prospects for being a very handsome lion.  He thought she was drop dead gorgeous.  She drove him in her new BMW to Ralph and Mildred Lyon’s where he was to spend his first two nights.

            Staci Simba, becoming more luscious in appearance with each passing week, was a major focus for the paparazzi.  They probed, followed and hid behind bushes to try to find something risqué in the president’s only daughter.  Aside from her one appearance with Lee Simba in the Watering Hole Pub, she managed a clean slate.  Every other weekend, she would join the AIDS team in a village somewhere in Kenya.  She worked closely with Dr. Juma Mnyama, becoming invaluable to the government doctor hired for the HIV/AIDS battle in Kenya.  Paparazzi began to show up in the villages in remote areas of Kenya to photograph the beauteous Staci as she went from hut to hut or helped Dr. Mnyama with the lines that stood for hours to be inoculated or given their oral medications.  She smiled sweetly and took time out for sound bites.  She remembered Shane telling her that friendliness was the best policy with the media unless you wanted to get on their bad side and let them haul you over the coals. 

Staci Simba draws media attention these days....

            Dr. Cary Caracal Simba fled the Nairobi Drug Rehabilitation Center, not really wanting to put a lid on her drug usage.  She didn’t want to return to Sidney’s abode, knowing he would rebuke her about her defection from treatment.  Under the cloak of darkness, she returned to the ramshackle trailer behind Leander Simba’s bungalow on the Simba pride territory.  The leopard dealer paid a visit that same night.

            Sam, being harried and filled with domestic problems, gave the reigns to Steven Simba to manage Simba Brothers.  Sam realized the young lion was efficient and very talented at the practice of law.   Sam and Tawny began to handle the majority of court cases for that firm.  Newcomer, Simon Simba, proved to be a major talent in that field as well.  Simba Brothers began to right itself once more. 

Goosey Simba......

            The Simba Pride Corporation studied the issue of fresh offspring for their various money making and lucrative ventures.  At a meeting in the mansion, they decided to explore an aunt whose offspring had always been rebellious.  Goosey Simba was a younger sister to Leander and Sarah Lee and a not particularly cooperative one at that.  She had refused housing and still lived in a trailer not too far from the main bungalows of her sisters.  She had allowed Roy Lee, the only one she actually took to with any real gusto, to upgrade her to a doublewide.  Her offspring, mostly males which seems to be the norm with that pride, were as insubordinate as their mother.  Many, rather than go to England to school, a tradition for these lions, chose France and Belgium.  One son was in Holland where he could enjoy the coffee houses also known as hash houses of Amsterdam.  He loved to take to the bong on weekends.  When Sarah Lee had pointed out to Goosey that the Simbas always named their cubs with first names starting with the letter ‘S’, she had scoffed. 

“I’ll name my frigging cubs anything I damn well want to,” she had snarled. “If I’ve got to have the pains, I choose the f—king names.”

Goosey is the only one of the late Sean Simba’s wives to beat him up, bite him and live to tell the tale.  It was in general agreement among the pride members that Aunt Goosey was someone that you handled with care, sort of like an African porcupine.  That was why, during the board meeting, Shane was chosen to visit her and check out her children’s whereabouts and dispositions. 

“Why me?” he yelped.  “I’ve got all Kenya on my plate.”

“No excuse, Bro,” said Roy Lee, whose opinions carried the real weight of the pride. ”You’re the president; she’ll have to hear you out.”...

            The next day Shane took the official Rolls with a driver and two guards with him to tackle his Aunt Goosey.   He knocked on the door of her trailer, his two Masai flanking him.  She opened the door draped in a dirty house dress,  a cigarette dangling from her lips, dropping ashes.

“What you want, Shane?  Who are them natives with you?”

“These are my body guards, Aunt Goosey.  I’m the president now, in case you didn’t hear it elsewhere.”

“I know that, but to me you’ll always be a snot nose kid with your dick hanging out,” growled the lioness. 

“May I come in?”

“Yeah but leave them darkies outside.”

“I doubt they’d come in even if my life was in danger,” grumbled Shane, who was not enjoying this visit thus far. 

Shane made his way across the mess littered everywhere and found the only uncluttered chair in the place. 

“Where are your boys, Aunt Goosey?”

“They’re in Europe going to school, why?”

“The pride needs them to work in the various businesses we have now.”

“Fuck the pride.  They don’t owe the pride shit, Shane.”

“You get a check every damn month of the world, Aunt Goosey.  That’s from the pride.  The pride pays for their fancy educations. Now it’s time your kids added to this.”

“What you been doin’ for the pride lately, Shane, you and your uppity monkey wife?”

“I am the president now, having worked my way from helping make Simba Brothers a success to getting noticed by President Ralph Lyon and on to where I am sitting now.  I helped make Simba Brothers what it is today and I put up some of the money to build the resort and lodges that have made the pride billionaires.  Now it’s time for your sons to help.  If you don’t like this offer, you can move your ass out of this trailer my brother bought for you and leave the Simba territory.”

“Get your ass out of my trailer, you little prick.  I don’t give a shit if you’re the president or not.  You ain’t nothing but a smart talking whippersnapper who can’t keep your Willy zipped up,” shouted Goosey, snatching Shane from the chair with the springs poking out. 

Shane jumped from the trailer and got in his limousine flanked by his perplexed guards.  The President of Kenya had been unceremoniously ousted from his aunt’s trailer.  He was chagrined to say the least, and then he suddenly burst out laughing, further baffling his loyal Masai. 

            That evening at home, he received a phone call from his brother who was so choked with laughter he could barely make his point. 

“Good going, Bro.  You’ve got that magic touch alright,” laughed Roy Lee.  “Goosey called me as mad as a warthog in heat.  She dog cussed you, Shane.  I guess I’ll have to handle it.  She invited me for fried chicken tomorrow night.”

“Lucky you,” chuckled Shane.  “That old razor back hog is a freaking horror show.”

“I guess we’ll just  have to leave Kenya to you from now on since you don’t seem to handle the pride matrons terribly well,” laughed Roy Lee.  “Have a good one, Bro and give Betty my love.”