A DYNASTIC ENGAGEMENT
Many people spend more time in planning the wedding than they do in planning the marriage.
Zig Ziglar, American motivational speaker.
the intransigent tyrant, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe......
President Shane Simba attended the summit for Pan African leaders in Cairo Egypt on Monday. I went with him as did Dickey Simba. The issues were whether to send troops from other African nations into Zimbabwe and add sanctions. Shane was against it. We left the summit after two days and headed back to Kenya. Kenya is now extremely stable and on a roll again. Our economy is booming once more. Shane believes that economic sanctions against already struggling nations don’t work and cause suffering for the people and animals.
“Any belly dancers?” Betty asked him when they were alone in his bush house.
She had a mischievous look on her face remembering the times in the past when he had taken advantage of the local dancers during trips to the Arab world.
“No, Fifi, I saved it ALL up for you,” he laughed, grabbing her ass.
....
Alexandra Delamere still embittered Caroline Cheetah, frustrated that she didn't nail him again....
Clouds loomed on the horizon in the form of the discarded females in Shane Simba’s life. The caring and kind Alexandra Simba had been burned badly. She had borne Shane two natural children, filled a role in his presidency as well as his family life and now was feeling embittered. Caroline Cheetah, never a pleasant animal, was mad as hell that she had not even gotten a chance at the newly divorced lion president. Claire Cheetah, her cousin, who had engaged in a fierce affair with him before his marriage to Alexandra ended, was also livid. The only former lover of Shane’s who remained sanguine was the lioness reporter, Jane, who had a full life as the wife of Luke Leoparde and a mother to his children and two of Shane Simba’s.
Alexandra took her angst out in denying him his children, Sacha and Tanya, and making their visitations troubling and difficult for him. Caroline, a reporter, tried to dig up the dirt on Shane and Betty but there was none. They were just a couple of ex-mates who enjoyed the hell out of each other once again. No scandal there. Betty kept her own residence, had a full time career as a department head in Kenya University’s Mara branch and enjoyed weekends with Shane at his bush home or her Mombasa address.
Lachlan and I took a break from farming and spent the weekend at our Mombasa house. It was wonderful. We fished and grilled the catch. Jack and Leah (Simba) Tarzan were at their beach home next to ours. Jack is recovering nicely from almost meeting death in the jaws of a crocodile in Lake Tanganyika. They shared our fishing expedition and we spent a contented weekend of camaraderie.
the beach home in Mombasa that I share with Lachlan....
Solly Simba, oldest son of Betty and Shane.....
“Dad, it’s really undignified of you to keep leaning on your kids to convince Mom to remarry you,” complained Solomon (Solly) Simba who was home on break from his school in London.
Solly had just created a sandwich of gigantic proportions in the kitchen of his father’s bush estate and was about to chow down on it.
“Well, Solly, I stand corrected. I just thought you might like that too,” said Shane, his nose a little out of joint at his favorite son’s rebuke.
This conversation was interrupted by cars driving up and disgorging Staci Simba, her cubs as well as Sean and Georgia Simba and their new son. Betty had chosen to ignore the fact that she had taken part in a raging affair with Shane’s older son, Sean. In fact Sean was even happier to forget that peccadillo. Betty went to the entrance hall to welcome the group, as little Cathy Lyon raced past her to jump in her grandfather’s welcoming arms.
The new issue of ANIMAL ENQUIRER hit the stands with a picture of Betty Chimpo – in her chimpanzee pre-makeover days. Like all those gossip rags, most of the facts were skewed. Betty’s first husband after the makeover was Montecore the white tiger. Shane Simba was two lion’s later. Inside was a doozy of a shot. I remember those days when Betty was so lonely she went to Jamaica to find a guy. It was all old stuff but I guess Caroline Cheetah just couldn’t help rehashing it once again. She had access to the nasty rag and was paid well.
the cover of ANIMAL ENQUIRER with an inside shot of a Jamaican vacation Betty had taken years before....
The reactions in Shane Simba’s household were less than intense and bordering on supreme boredom. Solly took a cursory glance at the pictures and said:
“I know you’re a chimp, Mom. I do know Grandma Mavis, Uncle Chico, Aunt Gloria and Aunt Sue.”
Her sons, Jalal and Tarek giggled and said the pictures reminded them of the animal awareness class in their South African prep school where they viewed old Tarzan films. Shane pretended to mock study the layout.
“I like you better now, Fifi….you looked a little rough back then,” he guffawed.
End of subject. The family went to church on Sunday en masse where the American Naval hymn, Eternal Father, was the anthem – one of Shane Simba’s favorites.
Imani Lyon was throwing things from an upstairs window of her dad’s bush home. She was renovating. Ashley arrived home to find items including a bra, bedcovers and a shower curtain scattered on his manicured lawn. He zipped upstairs.
“What the hell are you doing, Imani?” he roared. “My yard looks like a tent sale.”
He found his oldest daughter with a paint brush.
“You’re poor mouthing so freaking much these days; I’m doing my own redecorating. If I have to live in the sticks, I might as well make the best of it,” she snarled. “I made some good food down stairs for you.”
Instead of arguing, Ashley went to the kitchen and tasted the contents of a large pot on the stove.
“Sheesh!” he said, spitting it in the sink. “Tastes like hyena kill.”
He retrieved a beer from the fridge and turned on the tennis finals.
Alexandra Simba was not through insulting her ex-hubby. She had her twins undergo cosmetic surgery to remove the lion tips from their ears, the only sign of their leonine heritage. It was done by a cosmetic surgeon in Nairobi. To put the finishing touches, Alexandra allowed the twins to visit that week, their ears replete with bandages from the procedure. Shane Simba hit the ceiling. He bellowed so loudly that Solly, still on his holiday, summoned his mother to the mansion. Betty arrived to find the twins in tears. She soothed them before facing Shane down.
“Shane, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re upsetting your children and it’s not their fault,” scolded Betty.
“Alex has had all of the lion removed from their appearance,” he raged.
“Shit, Dad, what’s the difference. They never looked like lions anyway. What’s the big damn deal?” inquired Solly, who was becoming a solid pragmatist.
Two events transpired the following week. Arlon Lyon, through his parent’s, Ashley Lyon and Betty Chimpo, announced his engagement to the daughter of Chloe Cougar and Roy Lee Simba – Lee Simba. Arlon had come from England, complete with a degree in business, and found employment with his uncle, Lewis Lyon – the multi-billionaire contractor. There was excitement in the air for this is the melding of three big family and pride bloodlines.
In addition, Betty Chimpo had another birthday. She had planned to spend the day and evening quietly. Betty is no spring chicken but still looking terrific. She hoped no one remembered the occasion. Shane had called earlier and asked if she would attend a reception with him that evening, a dressy affair he stated. She agreed and was picked up in his limousine. The couple was driven to the Predator Club where on arrival Betty was greeted by a gala party of friends and relatives to celebrate her big day. “Surprise,” we all shouted, as Betty entered on Shane’s arm looking very glamorous. It was a fun affair with much boozing and dancing. Shane, who had planned the party, loves Cole Porter music. The bands he had hired were terrific and we danced until the very early hours. Lachlan and I got quite smashed and had to hole up in a guest room at the state mansion.
Shane and Betty enter the party..... Mavis Chimpo at her daughter Betty's birthday bash.....
“Stop, you just stuck a pin in me, Mom,” squealed bride-to-be Lee Simba, whose tipsy mother, Chloe Cougar, was attempting to raise a hem on of one Lee’s trousseau dresses.
“Shit, Lee, I’m a film star not a fucking seamstress,” snarled Chloe.
Staci Simba, who was helping her childhood friend and cousin, stifled a giggle.
“Film star, Mom?” giggled Lee sending a large wink Staci’s way.
“Don’t be such a smart ass, Lee. Stand still,” groused Chloe.
Help arrived in the form of Sylvia Cougar, the maternal bride’s grandmother.
“Let’s turn this over to professionals in the form of JAGGERS,” suggested Sylvia.
Chloe rose to her feet.
“I hate Janice Jaguar, Mom, she took Roy Lee away from me,” growled Chloe.
“…more like Janice took him back when you divorced Dad and made an ass out of yourself,” added Lee.
“Shut up, Lee,” hissed Chloe, pouring more vodka in her tomato juice.
“You will just have to get over that snit, Chloe. Janice and JAGGERS are the best in the business. I’ll call Leah now and make an appointment,” soothed Sylvia.
“That was a very special party, darling…. I can’t thank you enough,” cooed Betty who was in bed with Shane at his bush home.
“You deserve it, Fifi. All of your friend and family had a good time it seemed.”
“And it was so special of you to invite all of my former husbands, Shane – I really mean that,” she giggled.
“After all one of them is my littermate, Sam,” he laughed. “Even Jack came with Leah. You’ve managed well to stay friends with your exes.”
“It was tricky with Sam and Jack for quite a while but animals do move on.”
“One of mine is dead and you’re back in my life. I don’t think I will ever be friends with Alexandra though,” mused Shane, holding her close and nipping at her hair.
“Maybe someday, darling, I'm sure Alex's feelings are still quite raw.”
the peppery Imani Lyon objects to the bridesmaid dresses....
“I hate these dresses, ugh,” pouted Imani Janice Lyon who had been asked to be one of her cousin’s bridesmaids in the wedding of the year.
“I think it was nice of Lee to ask you to be in her wedding, Imani,” said her mother, Leah Simba Tarzan who now runs JAGGERS. “These dresses are lovely.”
“They look like old females – not one ounce of chic,” groused Imani.
“That’s because you’re younger than Lee and into the hip youthful style scene.”
“These look like cow’s dresses.”
“Imani, do you always have to be so unpleasant? Lee was nice enough to ask Georgy and she loved the dress,” said Leah.
“Mom, that’s because Georgy looks like a cow these days from having a cub. She would love this tacky thing.”
Lee Simba and future husband, Arlon Lyon celebrate their engagement....
Parties were planned and invitations went out. Shane Simba who had been Arlon Lyon’s stepfather once and soon to become his uncle-in-law was slated to give the first bash. Among those scheduled were soiree’s at the home of Arlon’s mother, Betty Chimpo and a party at the home of the bride’s maternal grandparents, Sylvia and Bernard Cougar. The father of the bride was arranging a bash at his estate on Leoparde Drive. Ashley Lyon, despite the turbulent conditions of his home complete with daughter, Imani Lyon, was trying to pull things together to host a party for his oldest offspring Arlon. Things were good in Kenya once more and we all reveled in the pre-wedding fete atmosphere